Rodney Dangerfield One Liners

[marval]

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

Oh, last week was a rough week. I noticed my gums were shrinking. I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

My cousin is gay; he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

It's been a rough day. I got up this morning; put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through."

[excelsior-1]

good ones