Feeling Down.

[MartinMillar]

Spent all day planting up my veggie garden yesterday, when finished I sat down to ring my dad who was a very keen gardener he actually had 3 allotments.
Just as I was dialling his number I remembered that he is gone and I can never speak to him again, and I cried huge great sobs.
It’s nearly a year but I feel that I can still speak to him when I do certain things that he would want to hear about.
Now I cannot shift this great feeling of loss and feel so down and bereft and lost.

[emmie]

i still feel the same about Mr Em and my mum, both gone now, the sadness sometimes comes when you least expect it, don't be down, be happy that you had a life together and all that entailed. The pain never really goes, but it does ease off a little as time goes on.

[pratanubanerjee1]

Good morning! It is good to know that you are spending time in veggie garden. Gardening is a great hobby. It is great to talk about father.

[anneasquith]

It’s difficult, hopefully you feel slightly better later today .

[iluvmargie]

I often feel like this over my Mum and have rung her old number a few times despite knowing she is not there and never will be again. I even text her on Mother's Day hoping that somewhere out there she receives it. MM I know only too well that great feeling of loss, it's part of the grieving process, sadly and may never fully go away. Focus on those you still have left in your life and talk to them. Sorry you have lost your Dad x

[woofgang]

it happens Martin. I still see things and think "oh xxx" would love that for birthday/christmas" then I realise they are no longer here and even though they died years ago it still hits you like a brick. The feeling will pass, lessen as time goes on but as Eleanor Roosevelt said "Grief is the price we pay for love"

[puzzled54]

There will come a time when you think ‘dad would have loved that’ and you will smile and have a good memory of him. You’re not there yet, but you’ll get there.

[ummmm]

It's still early days.

Sometimes I think of my dad and smile, other times I well up. Go with the flow xx

[Mamyalynne]

It's truly awful when i hits you like that,allow yourself to be sad for a while then think what he'd want you to do - take care ♥

[AuntPollyGrey]

I lost my dad in 2003. The sadness does not go away and some days I feel so sad he can't still be here -even though he would be 92 now. You feel bad because you loved him so much, that will never go away and never should Try and think of the nice things -I know that sounds crass, but try and focus on the nice memories and take comfort in that.

[Pooka1950]

I can sympathise with the way you feel. I lost my husband earlier this year but, at my request, my son had a cushion made for me with my husband's face printed on it. Of course it is not the same as having him here but I talk to it and tell "him" things and it does help. Maybe I'm losing the plot ....

[andy-hughes]

Martin, I am so sorry that your grief has jumped back and hit you so hard and so deeply.

As others confirm, this is part of the grief process.

I don't believe you ever 'get over' losing someone you love, I think instead that you weave that loss into the fabric of your being, but that does take time, and it's not a one way street either with stops along the way to mark your progress.

The truth is, the street of grief is two ways, and you can meander slowly down it for a long long time, and then suddenly like today, you can speed right back to where it feels you started from, as if it all happened yesterday.

That hurts, it cuts deep and it hurts, but you will feel a little better tomorrow, and again the day after that, and the weaving process will go on, as it has since you lost your dad.

In time, the weaving will be ended.

You will always have days like this, when something prompts you to tell him something, but then you will smile, and think of him, and the pain you felt today will just be an ache that you have learned to live with, because in the end, we all learn to live with our losses.

We have to.

But it takes time, so allow your tears to flow, and think of your dad, and how much you miss him, and let the weaving carry on.

Feelings are what remind us we are alive, but they don't always tickle.

[Mamyalynne]

Keep talking to him Pooka, that's a lovely thing your Son has done for you.

[Pooka1950]

Andy-hughes what beautiful words

[-SharonA-]

Even after 15 years, it only take an old jazz song on the radio, it starts me off as my mum loved her jazz. I sing along and imagine she is singing with me.

[AuntPollyGrey]

Andy that was lovely, thank you.

[andy-hughes]

Thank you ladies - very kind of you xx.

[MartinMillar]

Andy your words are truly comforting x

[andy-hughes]

Martin - thank you I am very pleased if I have helped in any way.

[ducksie]

I have no words to comfort you MM but just to say, I know what it is like to go to ring a parent and remember they're no longer available on the phone - years have passed and I still feel like you do now, sometimes I think I hear my parent call my name or open the door to pop into me - when I realise it is not real it is gut wrenching - sending you so many hugs at this time because these days are just lonely enought and trying to deal with your grierf too - I don't know what I could say to ease your heartache - not even a year for you, that's only a spit of time -and I don't believe time heals all wounds, AH put it lovely - even I felt comforted by it xx