Crosswords1 min ago
friendship or not??!
I don't know if I've explained this well but I just can't seem to trust my mate anymore.its bad enough she slept with my ex but to then let me be in a situation like that with this other fella and her mate is so upsetting! Its taken her 6 months to tell me that the man I was with for 4 years was screwing her mate. Where is her loyalty and morals! I was devastated when we split up and she said that she was trying to protect me.When I think of situations tho when her and her mate have been out where my ex goes, its made me really wonder has my mate actually seen them getting it on and being together.Why does she never seem to take my feelings into account!
Answers
No best answer has yet been selected by blond_law. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.I really don't mean to sound harsh or unsympathetic but personally I think you are over reacting.
Firstly, if it is your ex then it is none of your business any more anyway.
Secondly, your friend may have been asked by her wok mate not to say anything to anyone, in which case her "loyalty" as you put it is to her not you. Whether or not you two have in the past told each other everything, if her mate has asked her not to say anything then she has to respect that.
Thirdly, maybe she didn't tell you as she knew you would react like this.
Unfortuantely, blond_law, there are plenty of women on this planet who will steal your man from under your nose, or behind your back, without a second thought.
You made your peace with your best mate previously and a situation has since arisen that puts your best mate in a tight spot. For whatever reason, she didn't tell you from the offset (possibly committed to a promise as Gevs suggested, or because she thought it would be a one-off) but you need to ask her why she kept it from you and tell her that you think it is wrong. Otherwise how will she know how to act in future? Friendship is a learning curve and it's about give and take. I'm sure you'll work it out if you sit down and chat about it.
The issue now doesn't lie with your best mate but with the other girl who kept her romance with your ex a secret. If you don't like it, then don't associate with her anymore.
me and my best mate were always in and out of bed with each others "women",i say it like that because i often fancied girls and he would end up with them or visa versa!!
we often fell out over it or i would do it to wind him up or he would do the same!!
the crunch!!........... he died 5 years ago in a RTA and i cant remember 1 argument that would take the hurt away of him not being here!!!
its all trivial,get on with it and be friends!! lifes to short to worry about silly rubbish like this!
I think looking at your post and your reaction that it is no wonder that your mate didn't tell you anything until it was really really necesary. She must be wondering why you keep over reacting to past issues and whether it is worth having a temperamental friend in her life.
This is all about exes and it should be left in the past where it belongs. Make up and move on.