relationship problems, boyfriend passive aggressive??

[kirstymaher]

Iv been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years, things were great untill 5 months ago when some problems came up with his family and me (which he never stood by me). That seems to have effected him, his changed so much.

He is a really loving guy, his always had anger problems; which he has admitted he is an angry bloke.
He used to get up and stand by the window in the dark watching ppl from the pub walk by 'ready' to go after them if they started anything.

One night he was late coming over to see me and said he had caught a group of teenagers throwing a pie at the house, I know it sound obsured but he told me how he got in the car and followed thrm for about 40 minutes driving round and seemed to take pleasure in the fact that they knew he was there and were scared of him.

In our relationship his changed, he completely abandoned me & blames me for everything and says im trying to controll him, he never talks about problem and will deny there are any.
he goes on about how people have hurt him.

his been getting trouble at home and since then he stopped coming round to see me. He'd say his busy or has work to do, then when he did come round ( which was once a week) he'd stay a couple of hours then say im too demanding.

He recently wrote on here how his been flirting with a girl at work, when I found out he denied it was him, said 'I dont know what you have got in to your head, but you dont care about me at all' then admitted he did write it, but still I was made to feel it was all my fault.

I still love him and want another chance but he just sits on the fence not saying anything clearly, He never admits he cares about me but still wont say if it is really over.

I suffer from depression his broken me down mentaly, i keep asking him what have I done and he cant give me an answer except its all my fault.

[ummmm]

How old are you?

[kirstymaher]

Im 21

[gonzo00]

ditch the loser...by the way,did i say how great you're looking tonight?!!! :0)

[ummmm]

I think that people think they still love people as it's a habit but when they split you realise how unhappy you actually were.

I think you need to move on.

[kirstymaher]

I know the way he is now isn't the real him, he cant deal with confilict especialy with people he cares about.

Everything I say and do seems to be wrong, I don't know what the right thing to say is, he probably doesn't realise his doing it but his completely destroyed my self esteem. He with held things from me on purpose like love and affection, which made me angry and upset which only fuelled this thought that everyones 'out to get him' his using me to carry out whatevers in his head.

We have split up, and yes i am stupid for still caring about him but I know the man he is now thats not him talking.

Does anyone know how to deal with passive aggressive people???

[brenda]

I am sorry but this will not be the answer you want to read, the only way to deal with aggressive people is to stay well away from them.

There is a danger that you will end up being hurt physically in this relationship.

[Yakamo]

how did you find out his flirting

[kirstymaher]

He had written it on here for all to see. he said someone else wrote it and had a go at me that I didnt trust him and some how insulted him, then admitted it was him.

[Velvetee]

Stop making excuses for him, it's hardly a relationship, where you see him once per week and he stays only for a couple of hours. Can I ask, in those couple of hours, do you just have sex?

You are young and should find someone supportive and not caught up entirely with their own problems. He seems to be calling all the shots and it's obviously making you sink deeper into depression.

[Yakamo]

and you split up for the flirting