Dating Ad Translations

[marval]

Want to know what the person is really like behind those "nice" descriptions in Singles Ads? Here are some translations.

Dandy little house keeper
She has been married three times and kept all the houses

Fine character
She's an ex-hooker

Knows how to handle money
She's a spend thrift and great at spending yours

Strong family ties
She's a Mafia Princess

Loves children
She's pregnant and needs a husband

Wonderful personality
She's fat

Great sense of humour
She's fat and will laugh at anything you say

The outdoor type
She hunts, fishes, chews tobacco, just like the guys

Ready to settle down
She's thirty-five, in a state of panic, and dying to marry

Liles to have a good time
She gets drunk every time she goes out

Lots if fun at parties
Often makes an ass of herself

Mature woman
She's at least thirty, but looks at least forty-five

Has the appearance of a young school girl
She's at least thirty-three, but dresses like a teenager

Casual
She dresses like a slob

Decorated her own place
Her apartment resembles a pig sty

A great dancer
She's a Stripper

Not overly emotional
She only cries twenty-seven times a day

Doesn't chase men
She's more of a mousetrap or a black widow spider type

Seldom dates
She's a lesbian who needs a male escort for something

Understands men
She's been married and divorced four times

A good sport
She knows two hundred jokes and can drink you under the table

Looks and dresses like a model
She's five eleven and weighs seventy-three pounds

Been in show business <