Adulterous husband and division of assets (house) paid for by him but in joint names

[needacleanbreak]

I found out last night that my husband has been sleeping with a woman he works with. It has evidently been going on some months and he has lied outright to me about it. He was seeing her whilst we were having marriage counselling and stayed in contact whilst we were on a make-or-break holiday. I am absolutely devastated. I have never been unfaithful in any way since we took our vows although I had a drunken one-night stand during a rough patch 3 years prior to our wedding.

If he had admitted to a single mistake I could have forgiven him but with the already fragile state of our marriage this is way too much. The affair has repulsed me - him visiting her instead of going to work, sleeping with her then coming home to me. I am seeing the CAB tomorrow for advice on what to do now. Divorce seems the only option. He disgusts me and has destroyed any respect and trust I had.

The house was bought before we married and at his absolute insistence I have not paid the mortgage. I am however named on both the mortgage and house deeds. in the 12 years we have lived here I have paid 50 percent of household bills including utilities and council tax. We recently had a new bathroom and kitchen fitted and some decorating done, I paid for half of this.

I am self employed with a relatively low income. He is a civil servant earning a good salary and can retire next year with a six figure lump sum and full pension. I am seeing a settlement to give me half the house value as I will not be able to support myself on my income. Can anyone please offer any advice on the possible split of assets in this situation. Thank you.

[cassa333]

Just to start with the reason of his adulery will have no bearing on any division of assests.

Get to the cab asap and find out now before he ferrets away his gold plated pension and his savings account.

[aprile]

you poor darlin . you are entitled to half of everything , if u dont divorces him and if your still married to him when he retires you will also be entitled to have of his pension, are there any children ? Go straight to your local benefits office, i am sorry to say but you mite be better off not working, i have been there done that got the book the t shirt and i still going thro it, take care and remember this WAS NOT YOUR FAULT , YOU DID NOTHING WRONG

[Prudie]

My heart bleeds for you, have been there. Get to the CAB or better a free session at a solicitors. I'm sorry to say that you are not automatically entitled to half of everything at all, especially if he ends up with a clever lawyer. Take care.

[aprile]

true what prudie said, you might not get half of everything but it is what you are entitled to therefor like she said you dont always get it, do we ever get what we really want tho