Do u loose the girl the same way you got her?

[protondonor]

a friends once told me that we loose a girl the same way we got her.I knew a girl,n we got so close n we started to like each other,she told me she had a previous relationship n shes single but her exboyfriend shows up and says that they are in a temporary break up, since then problems,arguments n struggles happened between the 3 of us,she gave him another chance but then she didnt feel secure with him so she came back to me and left him for good.But somehow,somthing inside me is insecure and uncomfortable and guilt about this whole situation and bout everything since she have been with her ex for about 3 years before knowing me.Do u think i can forget all this n she can forget too n our relationship can be smooth,or from your opinion somthings never change and it will end up eventually???please help ,advice needed..should i get back or should i give her time to get over all of this den get back?..all her pics are with him,everyone knows that shes with him...i dunno i really do have feelings for her but i feel something is not right!!

[4getmenot]

dont loosen her

[TTG]

If it was meant to be she will go with you in the end.

[NoMercy]

So my OH may lose me on Answerbank. lol

[Bbbananas]

You mean - What goes around comes around?
Nah....

You need to move on proton. Get someone tight rather than loose ;-)

[ummmm]

She sounds confused. It's hard to let go of a long term relationship and move on.

[protondonor]

Thank u all..but i just want to make somehting clear,shes in a relation with me now..but i just dont like the way i got her and the way things happened..i can feel shes over it,but its so strange that iam abit irritated from all that happened,and iam afraid that i'll never forget....

[Bbbananas]

You sound far too young to be eaten up with all this guilt.
Don't worry so much proton - you're hardly Public Enemy No. 1

[ummmm]

You'll have to unless you want it to bug you forever.

Like I said...moving on from a relationship can be hard.

[Harry_Hedgehog]

Keep your eyes on the prize big daddy. She is probably keeping her ex as a backup plan. A curr if she ever needs it ;)

[juandelacruz]

Why are so many people writing "loose" instead of "lose"? Is this the latest Americanism?

[Old_Geezer]

Just an indication of the lack of value society puts on education these days.

[Hopkirk]

Loose women?

[society]

"dont loosen her "

LOL LOL LOL


I do recommend Answerbank for a good laugh too. :-)

[Old_Geezer]

Lots of questions, most of which are personal decisions rather than black & white issues one can answer for sure. But that's life, you make a decision, hope it works out ok. If it does then great, if it doesn't then it's a learning experience for you to become a wiser person.

First off why should you feel any guilt ? You started a relationship with someone whom you understood to be free. Anyway at the age you appear to be I'm not even sure the concept of 'free' is that applicable. When young you are expected to have as many relationships as possible anyway to realise what you really value in another, and what not.

Anyway seems to me you have acted honourably enough.

I'm unsurprised you feel insecure. She gave you the impression she was free of emotional ties from past relationships, yet she seems not to have finalised anything with her ex; and was given enough doubts to have gone back to him for a while. Maybe she tried to move into a new relationship a little to quickly. she needs to sort out for sure what she really wants. It isn't fair to expect to have others dangling on in hope while she works it out.

Whether you can draw a line on this and start afresh, or even whether you think it has reached that stage, is up to you. In your shoes I think I'd at least let it cool for a while, while the dust settled and it became clear what both of you want. But since you say everyone knows she is with him and he has all her pictures you imply she has already made her decision.

It may be best to just leave it all behind. Plenty more fish in the sea even if, at the time, that seems totally wrong. Trust me, time tends to heal, as does a new love interest.