Sister in laws facebook secrets

[betterman]

I and my wife are in a bit of a predicament, here is what has happened,
My wifes sister(26) started seeing a boy(18) back last year, around august, at first we were all a bit against this inclding her father, because she met the lad in her place of work which is a betting shop and he spends most of his days there, he does 2 days a week work placement set up by the jobcentre, but often doesnt turn up, she is the manager and has worked hard to get where she is.
After them being together for around 2 months we all noticed she was asking to borrow money from us having only got paid a months wages a week ago, still none of us said anything and we helped her out, but then her borrowing became more frequent, my father in law, her dad asked her was her boyfriend on drugs? she took this badly and reacted very badly toward him suggesting how could he ask such a thing, so then again we all give him the benfit of the doubt.
Two weeks ago he went on holiday with his mum and stepdad to Cyprus, my sister in law starting visiting more often because he was away, she also was using my laptop to chat to him on facebook while he was over there, and thats where our problem started, I went on the laptop after he had left and went on facebook but she was still logged in and her chat window still open, ok so I probably should of closed it down and I wish I had now,
so to cut a long story short all of our fears were confirmed, he is indeed a very controlling manipulative person, in their conversation he has given her orders to get his dope, amphetamine and pills for when he gets back, he has been demanding to know where she has been whilst he is away, how much money she has left from last month pay, they dont even live together and he is earning a pittance on top of his benefits, she still lives with her father at 26 yrs of age blaming she cant afford a place of her own, it is now clear why she doesnt ever have any money, my wife wants to tell her father but then she will know I have looked at her facebook page and I will be considered the bad one, my wife is eager to tell her father because he is always giving my sister in law handouts in money, and although he is quite comfortable moneywise she can see where its going, on drugs.
We are desperate to break this cycle but how can we tell him without revealing I snooped at her facebook page?

[dave50]

If she left it logged in then you didnt deliberately snoop, it was there in front of you so you read it. So you are entitled to bring it all out into the open. She will thank you one day.

[China Doll]

Why don't you both approach her and tell her you've seen it and how. I wouldn't appreciate it if someone went to my father before coming to me if they were worried.

[woofgang]

I agree, BOTH sit her down and tell her what you saw and how you saw it...I am really nasty and would have printed off the chat for proof in case she denied it.

[betterman]

We want to let her dad know because he will just continue to give her money otherwise, if the money was for her then fair enough, but he is going to auction soon to buy her a house to get her a foot on the ladder.
He is a fool with his money where she is concerned, and its all benefitting the druggie boyfriend.

[ummmm]

Tell him then....

That's your only option if you want him to know.

[mccfluff]

i think you should tell her first, then if you have to tell her dad, but don;t go behind her back, at least let her know. if she thinks you are all talking about her behind her back she will get defensive and probably protective of this guy and you could make things worse

[treetops1]

Apart from the money she must be buying these drugs from dealers for him. If the police get involved it will be more than money to worry about.

[Ankou]

tell her, then bring the dad into the convo

[joko]

in the long run, she will be glad you intervened...maybe she wants you too...?

[TWR]

Make a phone call to the boys in blue before he does something, that later you will regret not doing! do you get my meaning?

[AlBags]

Shop HIM to help HER now.
Otherwise .. it will only get worse.

[Bummle]

Consider, did she really leave it logged on by accident or is she consciously or even subconcsiously wanting someone to help her out of this mess?

[chattykathy]

Technically, she's the supplier so would be in a lot more trouble with the Police than the boyfriend. Like the others I believe she will thank you one day.If you can, print off the 'chat' as proof. She really needs to get rid of this loser and will probably need your help.
Good luck

[DTCwordfan]

Allowing for potential hacking by the NoW - go to the Police - NOW

[ummmm]

Half a story folks....

[westieworld]

i think you should confront it but also comfort her on it help her to explain to her dad she may be in a situation where she wants to leave him or he has been threatening her and she's too scared stay with her and make sure she knows no harm will come to her and that your family is there to help. let her know that if she doesn't tell her dad you will because this can't go on, and technically you didn't snoop it was logged in so it's not your fault they weren't careful with their scheme good luck.