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Implements of Math Destruction - this Adult Numeracy week....
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Implements of Math Destruction
At New York's Kennedy airport yesterday an individual, later discovered to be a school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a square, a slide rule, and a calculator.
The Attorney General believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math destruction.
"Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed", the Attorney General said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "x" and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
"As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are three sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math destruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
At New York's Kennedy airport yesterday an individual, later discovered to be a school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a square, a slide rule, and a calculator.
The Attorney General believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math destruction.
"Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed", the Attorney General said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "x" and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
"As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are three sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math destruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
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One of the things that differentiates the sometimes square Al-Gebra is their highly destructive programme known as "Crash and Annihilation of Linear Cataclysm Universal Life in the States", better known by the CIA as Calcul-US.
"Not in our Quadrant" said the CIA head, David Petraeus. "The Pentagon will remain in charge and circle Al-Gebra so that we can take them off and put them on our negative brainwash programme. To ensure that this happens we will use two long divisons and are prepared to multiply resources as needed"
He went on to add that all US parentheses and their matrix families will be safe. "US folk will not lose their roots."
"Not in our Quadrant" said the CIA head, David Petraeus. "The Pentagon will remain in charge and circle Al-Gebra so that we can take them off and put them on our negative brainwash programme. To ensure that this happens we will use two long divisons and are prepared to multiply resources as needed"
He went on to add that all US parentheses and their matrix families will be safe. "US folk will not lose their roots."
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