Foolproof Christmas Cake ; )

[Smowball]

Ingredients:
500g plain flour
100g butter
250ml water
1tsp baking powder
250g sugar
1 tsp salt
250g demerara
squeeze lemon juice
4 lge eggs
250g chopped nuts
500g dried fruit
2 bottles wine


Sample wine to check quality.

Take a large bowl,check the wine again.To be sure it is of the highest quality pour one level glass and drink. Repeat.Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat the butter in a large fluffy bowl.Add one tsp of sugar. Beat again.At this point its best to make sure the wine is still ok. Try another glass......just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit. Pick the flipping fruit up off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the wine again to check for tonsisticity. Next,sift 2 glasses of salt. Or something. Check the wine.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whateveryou can find.

Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.Dont forget to beat off the turner.

Finally,throw the bowl out of the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter the cat.

Go to Waitrose and buy a cake!

[ummmm]

lol...My type of cake.

[naomi24]

And mine!!


(Someone else makes mine for me - but if she didn't I'd go to Waitrose).

[albaqwerty]

ooh I like that :-)
Does it have to be Waitrose though?

[naomi24]

Harrods is good.

[Smowball]

Lol, I think any cake would do after that recipe!

[EvianBaby]

I just hope whatever shop it is in in walking distance ;)

[naomi24]

Who needs cake anyway? Just stick with the wine! ;o)

[Smowball]

Or staggering distance............lol

[albaqwerty]

Hadn't thought that through, obviously the wine is more important than cake but the refill shop would have to be within staggering distance :-D