husbands roving eye!

[bertie21]

This may sound daft but it is really getting me down, whenever i am out with my husband he constantly looks at other women. At this time of the year it is very tiring seeing him check out anything with a pulse. When i tell him i don't like it he says it is no different than appreciating a beautiful painting and that i shouldn't keep going on!! Do all men do this, if so how do other women cope?

[dmsjps]

God, when did he start being a sad old git? I know everyone looks, but they don't usually make it so obvious! He obviously wasn't like that before you married him, otherwise you would have confronted it then.

 

Why don't you do it back, except more so than he does? See who gets hacked off then.

[dmsjps]

Sorry, I was just being argumentative! Do you have children? It usually makes blokes think differently when they have a daughter the same age or younger than the ones they're checking out! Well, maybe not all of them, but probably most of them.

 

I remember mum once complaining to dad about him leering at Sam Fox on Page 3. I was 20 at the time and he was telling mum she was being silly, that Sam was a lovely girl, etc (like he knew her!?!?!?!). Mum asked him how he would feel if I did what Sam did and he was gob-smacked: 'Well no, she can't do it, it's not right, she'd be a **** if she did it,' etc.

 

So he moral of the story is: it's OK for old gits to ogle teenagers, but not for their teenage daughters to let other old gits ogle them!

 

That's life. Crap, innit? Now I'm getting argumentative again.

[B00]

Sorry bertie but i'd batter him senseless with the first thing that came to hand!

I personally would view this as a total lack of respect, why don't you retaliate? leer at every male specimen you see- see how he likes it!

[Andy008]

There are quite simply two types of men in the world:

Firstly, those who look, leer etc, at attractive young things, and secondly, those who are dead.

[B00]

You're not berties hubby are you andy?

[jean88]

I think he lacks respect. But just think of it this way at least he is only looking, not touching. Thats men....!!!!!????

[woofgang]

Setting aside whether all men do or do not, If he is doing it in your company such that it upsets you, then that's as if he was picking his nose or scratching his ....... is just plain old bad manners!

[Cockney_si]

What's the fuss all about???

When he starts letching after them and giving them his number or going round their houses to do odd jobs for them thats when the alarm bells should start sounding.

It's an in built thing and you can't switch it off.

My mate once critised me heavily for looking at lots of nice girls when I had a girlfriend, to which I said "Well today I also saw a lot of really nice cars but I didn't test drive any of them".

Of course it's ok for most women to say how much of a dreamboat David Beckham is or how nice Orland Blooms looks dressed as a pirate and how Brad Pitt is wasted going out with Jolie.....Put faith and trust in your man, sure he'll appreciate you more for it.

[WaldoMcFroog]

And you constantly check out men bertie21. Here's the deal. Men and women actually check out people at the same rate (actually both sexes pretty much scope out everyone) and do so unconsciously. This has been shown by fitting people with headsets which track the movements of the eye and connecting it to a camera under scientific conditions, and by more than one set of researchers. Another interesting fact to come out of this research is that men scope out a woman's face then move down her body to her crotch. Women first look at the crotch and then look up the body to the face!

The key difference is in the ability of men and women to see. Women have a very wide field of vision, men a very narrow field of vision. If you want proof of this think about a fridge. Ask a man to find something in a fridge and it will take him ages (if indeed he can find it at all). Ask a woman and typically she will find the requested item in a second. This is because the woman views the entire contents of the fridge in one go. A man, with his narrow field of vision, has to scan across each shelf one by one.

This explains why men get caught scoping out women. We need to move our heads to keep the 'target' (inappropriate phrase there, but nevermind...) in view. Women also look at men but their wider field of vision means they do not have to be as obvious about it. The reality is that although your man may well scope women, equally he will have entirely forgotten them once second later. Do you remember looking at men? Exactly! To be honest, by drawing attention to this behaviour you're actually making him remember what he was looking at!

As Cockney_si says, it's when he asks for a number that there's a problem!

Hope this is useful to you!

[jno]

that's very intriguing Waldo. It's certainly true that the sexes are programmed to look at each other - it's not only hardwired into us, it's the whole point of our existence. Our genes want to perpetuate themselves, and we need members of the opposite sex to enable them to do so.

We can override them, of course, so that men don't hit women over the head (actually andy I'm not sure this ever really happened!), or don't even have children at all. But while we can change our ways in big things, like not going to Ibiza again this year, it's very much harder to change smaller but ingrained habits, like looking at men/women, and I don't share andy's confidence that he could just stop doing it if he wanted.

I do sympathise with you bertie - but for him to say it's the same as looking at a painting actually makes it seem worse than it is; in fact he might spend a minute or more taking in a painting, but he's more likely devoting only a second or two to a pretty girl and, as Waldo says, instantly forgetting her. Maybe you could embarrass him into being more discreet if you noisily ogle hunky males - but he won't have stopped looking, and chances are you'll still be aware of it. The important thing to remember is that it is normal, and no reflection on you.

[B00]

Can't Bertie just batter him senseless 1st and THEN ponder about the male species' constantly roving eye? <evil grin>

[Lindylou]

Carry a water-pistol around in your handbag and when his eye starts wandering squirt him!   I leave it to your discretion where you aim the pistol.....

[ludwig]

Here's how it works with me and my wife. I check out other women but not so that she'd notice, because that would be rude and disrespectful to her. She notices anyway, but doesn't mention or care about it because a) She knows it's normal behaviour for a man, and b) she appreciates the fact that making an effort to not make it obvious.

[flipflop104]

You should appreciate good lookingpeople together - that's what me and my gf do!� And we make a point of "Ay up, she's not bad" "ooh no she's a minger, why would you go for her" or "Aye yes, she's not bad at all"� My point: JOIN IN WITH HIM and get him to join in with your appreciationof other fellas.Everyone's happy then!

[nicola_red]

A man I know recently commented to me that "beautiful women are like mobile works of art", which is like what your husband said bertie - and I think all men do do it.  Thankfully finding women attractive myself when my bf does it I just join in!

[twiglet4frog]

i cant help looking all the time! i just like seeing a sexy girl, doesnt mean i am going to want to get them into bed, i am just admiring how good they look!

My mum always said to me that u can look and drool over the menu as much as u want, it is when u order anything from it u are in big trouble!

[nicola_red]

*sigh* I'm in trouble again!  And here's me trying to protect people's identities...