He's 21, he's young, there aren't a lot of lads that age ready for a full-on commitment. You sound very possessive.
This business about the names - someone he knew for 2 years sounds Ok to me. It's nice he has female friends - in our relationship, both of us have friends we knew before we met, it's not an issue, I've never met many of his friends of either gender.
Re the not meeting - you need to learn to respect each other's needs on occasion and not live in each other's pockets all the time. Where do you see this going?
Neither of you should have to cut people out of your lives just to please the other partner, that's too controlling and exclusive. Where will those people be for you, if this relationship ends? Bad idea.