Actually, seeking beneficiaries before a deathis common. We've had inquiries from distant relatives attornies to assure that we were aware that we were named in a Will.
Is it possible that the relative isn't full capacity... i.e., can't handle her own affairs or has Dementia? In those cases conservators want to assure that the estate is divided in accordance with her wishes as to real estate and other "hard" property (not cash or other liquid assets). To do so, they (the conservator wants to assure the heirs are available, since, if their not, the Will needs to be adjudicated by the courts...