ChatterBank1 min ago
Towards Net Zero
21 Answers
The above words are posted in large letters on a wall at work.
You may wonder what it means and where it originated.
I must confess not to knowing what it means, but I can tell you that such phrases originate from MBA, and similar management BS courses.
The person who dreamt up the phrase is often lost in mist of time.
To stake my claim as the originator of such a BS management phrase, I am publishing it here, which includes a time stamp in the post; my BS management phrase is:-
‘Towards Absolute Zero’
This is clearly an improvement on the original, with Net being replaced by Absolute; so the next time some manager uses the phrase ‘Towards net zero’, you should challenge them with my BS phrase.
I should add that I do not know what the phrase means – but that adds credibility to any BS.
It is important to note that the phrase does not relate in any way to absolute zero in terms of temperature i.e. zero degrees Kelvin (-273.15⁰C) where no thermal energy exists.
So in future when you hear the phrase ‘Towards absolute zero’ you know where you heard it first and who created it.
You may wonder what it means and where it originated.
I must confess not to knowing what it means, but I can tell you that such phrases originate from MBA, and similar management BS courses.
The person who dreamt up the phrase is often lost in mist of time.
To stake my claim as the originator of such a BS management phrase, I am publishing it here, which includes a time stamp in the post; my BS management phrase is:-
‘Towards Absolute Zero’
This is clearly an improvement on the original, with Net being replaced by Absolute; so the next time some manager uses the phrase ‘Towards net zero’, you should challenge them with my BS phrase.
I should add that I do not know what the phrase means – but that adds credibility to any BS.
It is important to note that the phrase does not relate in any way to absolute zero in terms of temperature i.e. zero degrees Kelvin (-273.15⁰C) where no thermal energy exists.
So in future when you hear the phrase ‘Towards absolute zero’ you know where you heard it first and who created it.
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The large writing on the wall at work has no further information as to whether it relates to carbon, climate, resources, profit, number of employees, management intelligence or whatever – so your guess is as good as any as to what it means.
MBA is a management course where attendees learn BS.
Perhaps any ABers who have such a qualification can expand on this.
MBA is a management course where attendees learn BS.
Perhaps any ABers who have such a qualification can expand on this.
//...but is obvious what net zero means if its about carbon, climate and resources.//
It's not that obvious. Only somebody who had been living in complete isolation for the last ten years would not have heard of the term but it's rarely explained what it means. My take on it is this: "Gross zero" means ensuring there are no carbon emissions whatsoever. This is totally impractical and impossible. So to get round that, the term "Net Zero" has been introduced. The aim of Net Zero is to balance the carbon emissions produced with mechanisms to absorb the same amount of carbon - hence no change in the amount of carbon present. This is not quite so impractical and impossible but very nearly so. So in order to give the impression that Net Zero is a possibility, all sorts of "creative accounting" has been devised. Foremost among these is the notion that felling 14m tons of mature trees every year, drying and compressing the wood in huge plants then transporting the resulting 6-7m tons across the Atlantic Ocean to be burned in a power station in Yorkshire is somehow "carbon neutral". When nonsense such as this is exposed for what it is - a gigantic confidence trick perpetrated by spivs on electricity customers who will have paid £10bn in subsidies by 2026 to keep Drax going - then I may begin to reconsider by belief that "Net Zero" is nothing but BS.
It's not that obvious. Only somebody who had been living in complete isolation for the last ten years would not have heard of the term but it's rarely explained what it means. My take on it is this: "Gross zero" means ensuring there are no carbon emissions whatsoever. This is totally impractical and impossible. So to get round that, the term "Net Zero" has been introduced. The aim of Net Zero is to balance the carbon emissions produced with mechanisms to absorb the same amount of carbon - hence no change in the amount of carbon present. This is not quite so impractical and impossible but very nearly so. So in order to give the impression that Net Zero is a possibility, all sorts of "creative accounting" has been devised. Foremost among these is the notion that felling 14m tons of mature trees every year, drying and compressing the wood in huge plants then transporting the resulting 6-7m tons across the Atlantic Ocean to be burned in a power station in Yorkshire is somehow "carbon neutral". When nonsense such as this is exposed for what it is - a gigantic confidence trick perpetrated by spivs on electricity customers who will have paid £10bn in subsidies by 2026 to keep Drax going - then I may begin to reconsider by belief that "Net Zero" is nothing but BS.
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