Sectarian Dog
A guy walks into a pub with his dog. The dog is wearing earphones and has a radio taped to its back. The barman says, "what's with they earphones on the dog" The punter replies "I usually take him to the Celtic game on a Saturday, but I couldn't get tickets this week so he's listening to the game on the wireless". "Aye right" said the barman.
10 minutes later the dog starts doing back flips. "What's he up to" says the barman. "Larsson's just scored" replies the man. "aye right" says the barman again. "Switch teletext on and see" says the punter. Right enough the score comes up Celtic 1 Rangers 0 (Larsson) 2 minutes later the dog starts chasing it's tail.
"What's he up to now" asks the barman. "Thats what he does when Sutton scores it must be 2-0. "**** off" says the barman. "Check the telly" says the punter. Sure enough the score comes up Celtic 2 Rangers 0 (Sutton). "That's amazing" says the barman "What does he do when Rangers score?" "Dunno" says the punter "I've only had him a year!!"