Burns Suppers - Toast to the Lassies

[Mikejas]

Does anyone know the format for proposing this toast or can you point me towards a site that might give me a few ideas?

[Clanad]

Such as this?

A bheil G�idhlig agaibh?

[squarebear]

That last bit sounds like me after the toast!

[Mikejas]

Thanks Clanad. I'll obviously have to personalise it somewhat or the ladies will know that I've stolen it from someone else but it seems like a very good start. I've never been to a formal Burns Supper before but it was suggested to me that it might not be inappropriate to include a few humorous references to persons present. Would that be considered infra dig

[Clanad]

Another example that might help you... from a recent Gathering of the Clans, here in the U.S. (we're a sept of Clan Gordon)

A Toast to the Lasses


I asked my wife the other day what she liked best about me; my firm, trim body or my intellect. She said, "Your sense of humour dear."

In writing this toast to the lassies, I couldn't help but notice the differences between lads and lassies, not the obvious differences that make them so pleasing to the eye, but the more subtle differences, such as:

- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
- A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
- A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337 and a man would not be able to identify most of these items.
- And finally, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and best friends and favourite foods and secret fears, and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

But regardless of the differences that separate men and women, we are not complete without them and I have prepared the following toast, with the assistance of the same muse that aided Robbie Burns.

Contd.

[Clanad]

A Toast to the Lassies

Gentlemen, please rise...

Together we stand, here in praise
For the women around us and in our days,
Like Robert Burns, he once knew
That we love our lassies, though he had more than a few

When in our arms, they bring us untold pleasure
These are our lassies, for they are a true treasure,
We seek to marry them, it is said
For nothing more than to get them to ... wed.

They feed our spirit, they feed our soul
For many of us, they fill our bowl.
They care for us, they keep us well
Though occasionally, they make it feel like ... heaven.

They teach us manners, they teach us style,
For many of us, that takes quite a while.
They improve with age, while we do not
For that is clear, looking at you lot.

For the parcel of rogues, I see here tonight,
It is truly amazing, our lassies don't take flight,
For they put up with our habits, and we have all sorts,
Such as control of the remote and our preoccupation with sports.

For our lassies we would walk five hundred miles,
It must be because, of their feminine wiles.
Over heathery mountain and scroggy glen
We seek them out now and then.

But,
Tonight we stand, here in praise,
So join me lads, let your voices raise.
Prepare to toast, fill up your glasses,
Join me now, to our bonnie lasses.

To the Lasses.
(Prince Albert Caledonia Robert Burns Supper, Sask.)