am i cracking up?

[baggysenior]

HI all,
I suffer from anxiety (to which i am on medication for and having therapy) but over the past 4 months i have noticed quite a dip in my mood and nerves, i have seen my doctor and she witnessed a severe panic attack, upped my tablets and gave me some diazepam. For some strange reason i am panicking about the mortality of my loved ones in particularly my mum who i live with after my husband left. I work within the nhs and every day i am witness to the cruel world of cancer, heart disease, stroke etc. My mum has had a pain in her shoulder which radiates down her left arm..... i panicked because i thought she was having a heart attack...subsequently it transpired she wasn't and a dr diagnosed a trapped nerve. I however, have convinced myself that she has lung cancer (she is a smoker) which has metastasized into her bones causing shoulder pain. She was recently invited for a routine mammogram, (which she went to 2 days ago) coincidence? As i was walking to work i saw one magpie, then got to work and learnt that one of our pts had died of lung ca at the age of 57 and had initially presented with problems of a tickly cough and pain in his shoulder which radiated down his arm, which was diagnosed coincidently ?on my mum's birthday. on reading this i went cold and began hyperventilating. Alot of my instincts have been proved right recently, and im so frightened that this will be another one. she has seen the dr a few times who has diagnosed nerve problems each time but i know drs put alot down to 'nerve pain'. Please someone tell me its my state of mind at the moment,i'm too embarrassed to ask anyone i know incase they think im a nutter. This 'phase' is really frightening me and i dont know what to do or do i have good reason to be worried? Thanking you all for your opinion.

[ummmm]

It's a state of mind.

[Suzieb]

Hello, I too have recently been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and been put on antidepressants - not Diazepam though. I promise you this is just a state of mind. I don't have the answers as to how to make it better, but hopefully one day soon it will be. I experience the same things as you and also worry about things which I know are totally irrational and aren't really likely to happen. You are not 'cracking up' and you aren't the only one who feels this way, so let that be the least of your worries.