Girlfriend tells me there will come a time when she will become attracted to another man

[sman]

I am currently in a serious relationship with my girlfriend. We live together and are getting ready to move into a new place and have even discussed marriage. What I am unable to accept is that she tells me there will come a time when she becomes attracted to another man. Is this normal? She thinks that she is just being realistic and that is just how relationships go. I understand that we will find other people attractive but to say that she will become attracted to another man? She says that it will happen when there are problems in the relationship/marriage and will most likely be with someone she works with. Is it normal to tell your boyfriend this? Especially in a serious relationship? I know that she comes from divorced parents so perhaps her views are a bit jaded...but does this seem like an appropriate comment to make to your serious boyfriend. Please help!!!

[rowanwitch]

Doesn't sound like she's quite ready to settle down yet, She's right, there will come a time when you both will feel attracted to other people that's normal, just because you've done your shopping you don't stop looking in shop windows, that is a realistic view however the thing you are rightly concerned about is she has basically said what she will do if the relationship runs into difficulties, I wonder if there is already someone at work she is attracted to and she is therefore especially aware of the risk, I wonder if relationship counselling is worth trying sooner rather than later in your case.

She may also be getting confused feelings about the whole moving in and settling down thing, personally I would hold off for a while until you have worked this issue through. I feel if she does stray later on; and as she seems to take it for granted this will happen it is possible, her defence is already in place in that she warned you in advance and you still wanted to get married or whatever.

Good luck hope it works out for you

[joeluke]

By telling you that she's basically saying that you're not 'the one', dump her before she dumps you

[ummmm]

That depends on what kind of relationship you have. She might she think that she can be totally honest with you and doesn't realise it's inappropriate.

[amanda6229]

She isn't ready matey!

[looobylooo]

hi sman,
im not too sure what to think really ... rowanwitch and ummmm have both given good comments .... my first instincts when i read your post was that she was kind of black mailing you into letting you know that you need to make sure you keep her happy and not to rock the boat in your relationship so as not to cause problems, because if things do start to go wrong the inevitable will happen - she will 'become attracted to another man' ... a bit unfair of her to say/mean this if that is the case ... but i might be wrong... hopefully i am..
try and have a chat with her ...
take care and i hope it all works out..

[ummmm]

I most certainly do have a life.

[pericat]

Get the armour out !

[rowanwitch]

The thing is I had a life before this and continue to have one , probably experienced more odd things in relationships than most 'average' people and supported friends and family through crises for years.... I've worked with people all my life and was a nurse for many years in intensive care, and day surgery primarily but I worked in other areas too and if someone posts and I feel I can offer suggestions I do. I mostly offer advice in gardening, and pets where my main areas of interest lie and join in casual chat and debate especially in football ... I am also bored at work at present hence the high post rate...

[ummmm]

You don't have to explain yourself.

[pericat]

Exactly my thoughts - I don't see the point of these random attacks

[bobjugs12]

He's a troll just trying to get a rise. Ignore him.

[rowanwitch]

I know, but it might help if people know where I am coming from...
I try to offer help where I can and support when I can't and think carefully before offering either... many is the post drafted but never submitted, I think some people have high rates just because they dip into lots of areas I know you do Ummmm as do Bobjugs , NoM etc I will hopefully have a new job soon and then my average will drop like a stone... oh poo I'm really upset now...

[bobjugs12]

Rowan, forget about it. D143237G is either a complete bottom-feeding tool who is looking to make his life seem less vacuous by passing judgment on other peoples abilities. Or, he is just trying to start a fight. Either way, don't rise to it.

D143237G, do one mongtard!

[Bobbisox]

ha-ha.
whats with someone who has tl look into others profile to see what their answer total is?
both ummm and rowan offer very good advice I know,smam I really hope things work out for you
Bobbi ♥

[ummmm]

And to go to that much effort to type that. Why couldn't he just answer the question. Or why couldn't he pick on us in CB instead of ruining a question that's obviously worrying sman.

Sman....I think being attracted to someone else happens more than people care to admit. That's where loyalty comes into play.

[lardhelmet]

By the sound of it she's already got her eye on "someone she works with" - nice

[cherrychapstick]

i think you should talk to her ,it could be that with moving and talking of marraige , she is sussing you out...making sure it is something you really want to do can i ask what your answer to the statement was?how long have you been together? do you have any children? and most importantly is she pregnant by any chance ?

i do hope it works out for you both x

[Everhelpful]

Get rid as soon as possible.

[joeluke]

She's not so subtly trying to tell you she fancies someone at her work, so if there isn't anything already going on there soon will be

Dump her before its too late