my husband has children from a previous relationship and we have 2 children between us one who is 2yrs old and is severly disabled.His grown up daughter in law was quite nasty when my hubby was late sending his son a birthday card ,he did send one late but he is full time carer to our son and our son is full time work.My own grown up children live at home still and they do help out with our 2 but my hubbys kids dont other any help dont have contact at all with me his ex wife doesnt want them to but his daughter in law was quite nasty with her comments and upset my hubby she said he doesnt speak to the grandkids when he sees them at the school gates but he says to me im too busy seeing our daughter in to school and keeping an eye on our disabled one let alone who is going past i get cross and say they could offer you some help your the older parent and struggling .they never send my kids pressys or cards and they complain my hubby is missing out on his grandkids and my hubby says they can all come round to ours but they wont as the ex wouldnt like it as she controls them how can i improve the situation?