Geriatric Fisticuffs.

[gness]

I have got to a grand old age without ever being involved in a fight.
A Mod on a motor bike. Demonstrations, pop and rock concerts and three OFSTED inspections. Two Mothers-in-Law.

Today that changed. I was in a fight!
Visited Ma in care. She has forgotten everyone in her life except for two and sadly I am one of the two. She hasn't forgotten she dislikes me either so it was the usual snap at Gness visit, thumping my chair and slapping my arm until.....!
Lil joined in. Lil likes me....I bring her wool and craft bits and we chat about her hobbies. Lil decided to defend me...unfortunately I was sitting between Ma and Lil, neither of whom could get out of their chair.
Ma started singing and slapping Lil's hands. Lil started swearing (with apologies) and slapping Ma's hands and for some inexplicable reason I joined in??????
It was like a demented, high speed game of Pat-a-Cake. Until Ma looked at me, told me I should have a professional do something about my hair and I could bloody well clear off and climb Croagh Patrick to repent.
May just cut down on my visits. :-)

[Traci66]

Gness, I thought it was only men who weren't safe from your hands and now you tell us you're picking on pensioners, tut, tut, tut.

[firewatch]

Ha ha! reminds me of the aunt in fried green tomatoes who chucked gift baskets.

[joggerjayne]

Cripes !

[wolf63]

Many people think that 'pensioners' are all sweet people - they aren't. They are just the same mix of society as we have in any age group. They just lay on the guilt trip.

[DTCwordfan]

Mothers, don't ya love them.

At least you were the object of the scratch-session.

Took mine off to Ports Isaac and Quin to drown her.........

[B00]

Wasn't sure if i was meant to laugh, but i did (sorry)

"It was like a demented, high speed game of Pat-a-Cake"

Especially^

[gness]

Never was my Ma sweet so I'm used to it. DT. Can we do a BOGOF on the drowning?

[DTCwordfan]

But didn't....just in case there is some nutter thinking that I am serious.

Rather nice up there though Port Isaac was relatively heaving - that bloody Martin Clues bloke who brought Doc Martin there - and he has a cottage in the village too. What was he thinking (apart from inflating the value of his place).

Swung back by Chelsea-on-Sea aka Rock and rather fancied stopping for an early dinner at the St Enedoc Hotel, home of Nathan Outlaw's 2* restaurant but ended up with an ice-cream and a visit to Mr Betjeman in the quaint church that sits in one of the golf course, one of the most beautiful links in Cornwall.

[gness]

Laughing is how I have survived Boo. Much more fun when others join in.

[DTCwordfan]

Am waiting for the sharks to arrive, gness; will save on the burial fees.

[wolf63]

I remember one of my first interviews when I was paying benefits. It was a little old lady with a stick. I helped her into the interview room and filled out the form - it took ages as she was being unhelpful. I was with her for over an hour but eventually we were finished and I saw her to the door. She turned around, went to hit me with the stick (it missed) and said 'fekk off, you whor-e'.

[DTCwordfan]

Remember Yeats (adapted)

A Murraymints found a swimming lad,
Picked Tonyav for her own,
Pressed her body to his body,
Laughed; and plunging his plumbing down
Forgot in Scottish cruel happiness
That even lovers drown.

[gness]

Wolf. That was probably my Grandma. I'm praying I was a hospital mix up at birth.

Nice one DT......so drowning it is. Let me know when the sharks are in.

[Dee Sa]

I feel for you gness you dont deserve this aggro.Cut the visits she probably wont even notice.

[LoftyLottie]

My mother was quite a refined lady. Very well mannered (although she could be feisty). She kept herself very much to herself in her carehome. I often used to join her for lunch in their dining room and on one occasion another resident who considered hereself royalty took umbrage to the fact that my mother sat at 'her table'. All I can say is that it ended up with a food fight and lots of swearing, with me in the middle of it all!! My mother ended up telling the other old lady that if she didn't watch it she would spit in her dinner!! The staff had to step in!!

[DTCwordfan]

There is a time when Alzheimers mentally drown and they just can't swim,

They're underwhelmed, you're overwhelmed and all of the lights dim.

They've taken all of the support and lessons and should know how to by now

Everyone gave them all of the tools but they fall short some how.

You had high hopes of them bring before, thought they could swim deep.

But as they are paddling on nothing will keep.

It doesn't matter who helped them along the way.

They'll fall short and limited ability, unfortunately only to cause delay.

[gness]

Hi Dee. If I stopped going I think she would forget me...perhaps...and that would be okay but for my brother, Golden Balls. Eight years my junior and the apple of her eye from birth. He is lovely...knows what she's like with me and we get on very well so I won't leave him with the responsibility. Many, many years ago she gave him a hefty sum of money so I couldn't have a share. He banked it and will share it when she's gone. How nice is that?!!
Loftie. I see more fights coming in the home. She has a habit of trying to stab people so I think things will come to a head with a dinner knife.
Mentally drowning says it all DT.

[commoner]

In Japan September 17th is "Respect for the Aged Day"..mmm...what happens the other 364 days? are they "Show NO respect for the Aged days..do they kick the sh:t out of them and nick their pensions! ...;-)

[tonyav]

Gawd blimey gness, I would have loved to have it.
gness my mom and I had some real humdingers over the years, she died in 1998 and I would give anything for just one more humdinger with her.

[tonyav]

Loved to have seen it ^^^^^.