Son Being Cyber Groomed

[sithlord]

Hi there. My son who is 21 has autism. He has been friends on Facebook with his old (recently retired) teacher for about 2 years now. I thought it was harmless and thought it was very nice that this well loved ex teacher/pillar of the community etc etc was taking an interest in my sons life. In the last few weeks though his messages to my boy have become overtly sexual. He wants him to come and have a sleepover with him so they can have lot's of 'fun!!' (obviously this is not going to happen). He has told my son that the reason he says these things to him is because he misses his wife and gets sexually frustrated. It's very obvious what he is doing to himself when he's messaging my boy! I phoned the police and they said they couldn't do anything because he's 21 and a consenting adult! I pointed out that he vulnerable and naive and that also this man is friends with a lot of ex pupils and he might be doing it to others. They said without proof they could do nothing. I phoned the Autistic Society who just told me to phone the police!! I just don't know what to do! My boy just doesn't realise whats going on! He's adamant that the guy is a really good friend and now hates me because he thinks i'm interfering in his personal life. I must point out that my son has not egged him on in any way or replied with sexual comments! He's so naive that he's just oblivious to the smut and carries on chatting about football scores. I realise that I could block this man off his Facebook but it will not stop him doing this to other vulnerable young people. My son messaged him last night telling him that i'd read the messages and to stop making sexual comments. He replied that he understood and maybe it would be a good idea if he deleted all the (incriminating) correspondence!! What should I do? I'm heartbroken! My boy is such an innocent gentle soul and just wants some friends! He does not understand that what this man is doing is wrong!! Why are the police not interested? Sorry for such a long winded post but any advice would be gratefully received. Thankyou

[bednobs]

i am also very surprised the police are not interested.
have they seen the transcripts?

[bednobs]

ps what messaging service are thy using? - perhaps ceop (or whatever they are called) might be interested?

[chelle7272]

The police should act as it is a safeguarding issue.

Your local authority should have a contact for safeguarding adults, try googling for it, mine came up straight away with a simple search.

[Mosaic]

Absolutely and totally a safeguarding issue. Write asap to the chief constable for your area and ask for a response within a set time limit, after which you will contact your MP and also Simon Danchuk MP who has taken special interest in promoting the cause of safeguarding and the intransigence of police forces. Ask your local safeguarding team for help with your son, who needs buddy-type guidance from here on as far as internet use is concerned. Good luck - let us know how you go on.

[janbee]

Definitely get back on to the police and also the NSPCC

[cupotee2]

Could you also print off these messages for future reference. They may well come in useful for others who don't have someone so vigilant as you looking out for them.

[BlackadderV]

Shocking. I would send this man a message stating in no uncertain terms that you know what he is up to, and that you will circulate this information on the internet. That should frighten him.