Super Sensitive Child

[sherrardk]

My eldest daughter is super sensitive and bursts into tears really easily - usually it's when she has been slightly criticised by another child or, like today, when she feels her work at school wasn't correct. Most of the time she is a normal 9 year old, she stands her corner with her siblings, jokes, isn't clingy, etc. She is classed as 'gifted and talented' but I can't help feeling that she is far too hard on herself and she is making herself miserable. I praise her, I gently tell her when her work is messy, I tell her not to take it all too seriously, I don't push her and she knows that being nice and trying hard is what's important in life. Any ideas how I can stop her being so tough on herself or how to get her to deal with 'less than perfect' in a more proportionate way?

[rockyracoon]

I feel your pain, my daughter is exactly the same, only she's coming up 14, she's been like it for years. We're actually going through a 'sad' phase where she cries at everything and doesn't know why, she also feels queasy a lot of the time (I'm praying it's hormonal). I'm all ears if anyone knows how to deal with it, cos I'm friggin lost.

[sherrardk]

It's crap, isn't it? Everything I say seems to make it worse (plus boy #1 is being a git about Christmas -'oh, if I can't have an Xbox one, I'll just have a jumper and a game' (conveniently forgetting about his £700+ school trip). Argh, I could scream'!!!!

[Old_Geezer]

Having never had kids I'm unsure how useful my thoughts will be, but it occurs to me that you are unlikely to achieve change by accommodating how her mind is presently working. It has to cause mild distress to produce an incentive to change. It seems to me that you are already doing much the right thing by finding a balance between being critical and making life awful, and being overprotective and achieving an oversensitive adult. Can only wish you the best of luck. Kids/parenthood doesn't seem easy.

[Old_Geezer]

£700 trip, pfttt... you're not fair... that was ages ago... all my friends are getting xboxes for xmas... you like my sister better than me... etc. etc. etc.

[jennyjoan]

I had a friend who had the same problem with her then 11 year old girl. Cried at the least thing cos her homework wasn't perfect etc. She never changed as to being an over-achiever but now is a single mother of 2 children and still trying to achieve but it hasn't done her no harm.

I have been pretty involved in young children's lives as my nephews had no mother or hands-on father but I would say Sherr - don't stress and learn to accept her the way she is.

[ummmm]

I kind of think that that's just the way they are and only time will tell if they change. You're doing everything right so it has to be down to personality.

My personality is very much similar to when I was young. I've just got better at hiding it.

[Butterbun]

I have known little girls go through that phase for a few months to over a year as their body is preparing to change. It could be hormones kicking in.