University or New Zealand

[Lonie81]

My mother and father split up when I was 10 both have new partners now. I�ve always lived with my mother. The thing is my father has asked me to take a year out of university to go and visit him in New Zealand, of course my mother is so against it as I�m in my second year of a degree in Biology which I could go back to. I�m again torn between the two of them and don�t know which way to turn. What woud you do in my shoes? Stay on another year and miss another long awaited visit with my father or take a year out and give myself a break?

[rugeleyboy]

do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do?

you are your fathers child aswell and we all need time with our parents dont we.

on the other hand.......

my mother left us when i was 6 months old and i have never had the feeling to go and be with her in canada as i know it would upset my dad, he gave up everything to bring us all up.

[Lonie81]

Thanks for your answer rugeleyboy. My father had the opportunity to work abroad about 6 years ago it wasn�t his choice to leave me here my mother just wouldn�t let me go with him. I would so love to see him though the decision is tough.

[bednobs]

why do oyu have to take a year to see him? universities have about 12 weeks summer holidays don't they?

[Lonie81]

yes they do bedknobs which don�t start till next year if you don�t count Christmas. It would just be nice to see him. I only found this by accident today and I thought I�d ask for some advice as it has been playing on my mind for a few weeks now. I know I could redo my year but i�ve put alot of study into getting where I am now. it is just a hard decision to make.

[natalie_1982]

I've never been in your position so can't speak from experience (my father lives 200 miles away but it is driveable!). Personally I would stay here and study then take a well deserved year off afterwards and go and stay with my dad then.

I think you need to keep your feelings at the front of your mind; what your mother and father think and feel is not important (well it is, but you know what I mean lol). You need to do what is right for you and let others fall in around you for the moment so to speak, uni is important and you need to focus on what you want.

Good luck x

[Fatima-B]

I agree with the others, go with your heartl Saying that though, you seem to be worried about taking a break from Uni - why not finish Uni then go to NZ - you can then stay as long or as short as you like without pressure of having to start up again. If your Dad is there working, I dare say he will still be there when you get your degree.

[Fatima-B]

Sorry - I am new to this site and only just seen the date that the original message was posted. Hope you feel you have made the right decision!