ChatterBank1 min ago
Pregnant, Depressed and lonely.
I'm 8 weeks pregnant today and I've not been finding things too easy.
The pregnancy was unplanned but making the decision whether or not to keep it is so difficult because neither myself or my Fiance know what is right. I'm constantly feeling depressed. I just can't seem to do much housework and I never want to go to work, where as I used to be very motivated. Now I just want to sleep, sit on the computer or watch TV. This is making my Fiance very stressed. He hates even a little bit of mess and then gets really angry at me, making me feel even worse. I've tried explaining to him why I find it hard & he sort of understands, but then does it again.
He works really long hours, from between 7&9am to about 11pm every day with a 2 hour break in the afternoon and he might have 1 day off every 2 or 3 weeks. He's also really stressed with work which is going very badly at the moment and he's told me he will hand in his resignation possibly as early as today. So I really need him but he just isn't there to support me and because of work he can't realy think of much else.
I work at the same place he does. I really don't like it so if he leaves I will too and just look for a shop job locally until the contract is up on our flat in January. As for him - he will most likely get a job through an agency and could end up just about anywhere in the country, meaning I will see even less of him and have the added worry of what he could be getting up to. I really don't know what to do or how to cope. Please can anyone help??
The pregnancy was unplanned but making the decision whether or not to keep it is so difficult because neither myself or my Fiance know what is right. I'm constantly feeling depressed. I just can't seem to do much housework and I never want to go to work, where as I used to be very motivated. Now I just want to sleep, sit on the computer or watch TV. This is making my Fiance very stressed. He hates even a little bit of mess and then gets really angry at me, making me feel even worse. I've tried explaining to him why I find it hard & he sort of understands, but then does it again.
He works really long hours, from between 7&9am to about 11pm every day with a 2 hour break in the afternoon and he might have 1 day off every 2 or 3 weeks. He's also really stressed with work which is going very badly at the moment and he's told me he will hand in his resignation possibly as early as today. So I really need him but he just isn't there to support me and because of work he can't realy think of much else.
I work at the same place he does. I really don't like it so if he leaves I will too and just look for a shop job locally until the contract is up on our flat in January. As for him - he will most likely get a job through an agency and could end up just about anywhere in the country, meaning I will see even less of him and have the added worry of what he could be getting up to. I really don't know what to do or how to cope. Please can anyone help??
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do the two of you work in retail then? If you do you have my every sympathy. long hours, on your feet and the stress of managing a store are not easy at the best of times.
Im 12 weeks pregnant and can honestly say Ive only just started feeling more human. With my first i was fine, just tired but this one has really taken it out of me for the last 6 weeks.
Are you sleeping well enough? are you managing to eat little and often to keep your energy levels up? Taking extra vitamins if required (sanatogen do a folic combined with multi-vits)
The majority of women get very hormonal and very tired in the first trimester (12 weeks) and this can be very difficult for a partner to understand. They dont realise just how exhausting making a baby is on the body.
Of course if your partner is already under a lot of pressure at work then its understandable that he may see you as slacking as he has no idea how you are feeling inside.
Have you seen a midwife yet? Can you take your partner to your booking in appointment to give the two of you a chance to ask questions and get some good advice on how to deal with the tiredness and your feelings.
In the meantime i can recommend a book called 'blokes guide to pregnancy'. It is writen by a guy and puts the males point of view across, its aimed at men but I found it an informative read as well.
Im 12 weeks pregnant and can honestly say Ive only just started feeling more human. With my first i was fine, just tired but this one has really taken it out of me for the last 6 weeks.
Are you sleeping well enough? are you managing to eat little and often to keep your energy levels up? Taking extra vitamins if required (sanatogen do a folic combined with multi-vits)
The majority of women get very hormonal and very tired in the first trimester (12 weeks) and this can be very difficult for a partner to understand. They dont realise just how exhausting making a baby is on the body.
Of course if your partner is already under a lot of pressure at work then its understandable that he may see you as slacking as he has no idea how you are feeling inside.
Have you seen a midwife yet? Can you take your partner to your booking in appointment to give the two of you a chance to ask questions and get some good advice on how to deal with the tiredness and your feelings.
In the meantime i can recommend a book called 'blokes guide to pregnancy'. It is writen by a guy and puts the males point of view across, its aimed at men but I found it an informative read as well.
I second what redcrx has said - the blokes guide to pregnancy is fantastic.
I am now 14 weeks pregnant and found the early weeks really tough, like you I was sleeping huge amounts ((getting in from work, kipping for 2hours, then waking up eating and going to bed from 8pm-6am). Although me and hubby talk a lot, I just didn't have the energy to explain to him how I was feeling proerly, I felt I was letting myself down, just by not doing silly things like getting the washing done when I should, letting the housework slide a bit, not plucking my eyebrows, not making the effort with myself or anyone else..... don't feel bad about it.
My hubby and I had a few wors, I think he felt left out more than anything, we'd found out I was pregnant, but instead of romantically sitting up til the small hours thinking of names and wondering what they might look like I was crashed out on the sofa and he was coming to bed on his own! This gets better trust me, I am now feeling more human (not super-human, admittedly, but human all the same) .
Anyway, not only was he laughing out loud whilst reading the book he also said it made him understand things a bit better and he thought it would be useful if I read it because I would understand how he was feeling too. (I haven't read it yet, maybe I am a bad wife :-P).
I'd suggest telling your fiancee exactly how you feel, you really need to pull together right now, but don't ever feel bad for feeling tired and not being your usual self - your body is working flipping hard at the moment! XX Keep posting on here, I am sure you will find it helps to talk to others going through the same thing xx
I am now 14 weeks pregnant and found the early weeks really tough, like you I was sleeping huge amounts ((getting in from work, kipping for 2hours, then waking up eating and going to bed from 8pm-6am). Although me and hubby talk a lot, I just didn't have the energy to explain to him how I was feeling proerly, I felt I was letting myself down, just by not doing silly things like getting the washing done when I should, letting the housework slide a bit, not plucking my eyebrows, not making the effort with myself or anyone else..... don't feel bad about it.
My hubby and I had a few wors, I think he felt left out more than anything, we'd found out I was pregnant, but instead of romantically sitting up til the small hours thinking of names and wondering what they might look like I was crashed out on the sofa and he was coming to bed on his own! This gets better trust me, I am now feeling more human (not super-human, admittedly, but human all the same) .
Anyway, not only was he laughing out loud whilst reading the book he also said it made him understand things a bit better and he thought it would be useful if I read it because I would understand how he was feeling too. (I haven't read it yet, maybe I am a bad wife :-P).
I'd suggest telling your fiancee exactly how you feel, you really need to pull together right now, but don't ever feel bad for feeling tired and not being your usual self - your body is working flipping hard at the moment! XX Keep posting on here, I am sure you will find it helps to talk to others going through the same thing xx
I know this sounds a bit mean towards your fella and, as a bloke, I perhaps should be defending his corner but the first thing any guy has to do when his partner is pregnant is forget his problems and be there for you.
My G/f is 11 Weeks pregnant now and she is terrified. Usual worries like can we afford it, will it be ok, will she be a good mother etc.
The thing a guy should be doing and yes I heard this from a book, is being there for the mother of his child.
Stress at work shouldn't be brought home where it can affect yours and the baby's health.
There are ways a guy can alleviate stress during this time. The book I found most useful is 'Not Rocket Science' by Mal Peachey. It explains everything from the guy's perspective and isn't patronising at all.
First and foremost is your health. As the other answers have said, get yourself checked over and make sure you are ok.
Unfortunately, you do have to think about if you are going to keep the child or not. Here it is important to reember that you are not alone. There are loads of organisations out there who can offer assistance and answer any questions.
If you decide to keep the baby, good luck. If you decide not to, Good luck.
As was said, keep posting on here. If there is one thing I have learnt while subscribing to TAB is that there are some really nice people on here who have often been through the same thing.
All the best,
K x
My G/f is 11 Weeks pregnant now and she is terrified. Usual worries like can we afford it, will it be ok, will she be a good mother etc.
The thing a guy should be doing and yes I heard this from a book, is being there for the mother of his child.
Stress at work shouldn't be brought home where it can affect yours and the baby's health.
There are ways a guy can alleviate stress during this time. The book I found most useful is 'Not Rocket Science' by Mal Peachey. It explains everything from the guy's perspective and isn't patronising at all.
First and foremost is your health. As the other answers have said, get yourself checked over and make sure you are ok.
Unfortunately, you do have to think about if you are going to keep the child or not. Here it is important to reember that you are not alone. There are loads of organisations out there who can offer assistance and answer any questions.
If you decide to keep the baby, good luck. If you decide not to, Good luck.
As was said, keep posting on here. If there is one thing I have learnt while subscribing to TAB is that there are some really nice people on here who have often been through the same thing.
All the best,
K x
Tell your fiance if he doesn't want to live in a mess then he's to get off his ar$e and clean it himself then!
You're pregant for goodness sake, the first few weeks of pregnancy are difficult, you're permanently zonked and there's nothing you can do about it.
you're hormones are also going doolally as well, that will explain your feelings at the moment. Bear with it, it does get easier. And smack your fiance.....lol
You're pregant for goodness sake, the first few weeks of pregnancy are difficult, you're permanently zonked and there's nothing you can do about it.
you're hormones are also going doolally as well, that will explain your feelings at the moment. Bear with it, it does get easier. And smack your fiance.....lol
I just recently had my 3rd child (a girl), which was not planned at all. My older children (boys) are 15 and 12 years old and we thought we were finished having kids and then along came this little blessing.
You and your fiance need to know that your pregnancy is a blessing!! It will change your lives forever and it's up to you two to accept this blessing and do right by it.
You and your fiance need to know that your pregnancy is a blessing!! It will change your lives forever and it's up to you two to accept this blessing and do right by it.
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