After reading what you've written I can only think that you may have wasted 10 years of your life. Either your boyfriend loves you and wants to marry you or he doesn't and his behaviour doesn't seem to be reflecting either that love, or that desire to permanently commit to you. Frankly I think he's just taking you for a sucker and hard though it may be, I'd move his stuff out of your garage, tell him to come and collect it and try and move on without him. So he doesn't want to spend holidays with you? Doesn't that fact alone tell you something? He's been having his cake and eating it for long enough. Time to put him on a diet that excludes you from his calorie consumption! Yes, it will hurt for a while, but in ten years time if he's still betraying you and you're a lot older, it will hurt a darned sight more.