Flirty Teacher?

[Smowball]

There's probably absolutely nothing in it but me probably being over aware- I was reading online yesterday about yet another female teacher in court accused of seducing and sleeping with an underage pupil - i think he was 15 yrs old. About 30 minutes later teen smow came in and said "something really weird happened in last lesson". He then told me that he'd got to last lesson early and was only pupil there. The teachers assistant was there and said something along the lines of how he'd turned out to be a good looking young man. He got all embarrassed and started saying oh he didn't want to get any taller (he's 6ft 3 now!) and she said oh yes keep growing as I like my men really tall and she winked at him! Don't you think that's a bit odd?

[fiction-factory]

I would at least make a note of the incident and sign and date it, then it could be used if any future incidents come to light

[stefos]

... or it could be just giving a confidence booster to a young man

[Islay]

Do you believe your teenage son? Not just a fantasy?

[andy-hughes]

Leaving aside the usual 'Phoowargggh, go for it my son ...!!!' level of Neanderthal comments which this type of thread always attracts -

this is not appropriate behaviour by the T.A.

There is a time and a place for a mature woman to gently tease an attractive teenager, but in the classroom, when he is a pupil, and she is a TA is neither of them.

Adult staff bear a huge responsibility in daily dealings with maturing and impressionable teenagers, so they have to be seriously careful that their behaviour is above reproach all day every day - it goes with the territory.

If this woman is too immature to realise her responsibilities, she should be advised soonest - in order that another similar doubtless innocent remark does not lead her down the path to career-stalling dismissal.

[andy-hughes]

Sqad - //\\she said oh yes keep growing as I like my men really tall and she winked at him!\\\

GOOd GOD!!!!..disgusting.....sexual assault!

Seems an innocuous remark to me. No, I don't think it is a bit odd. //

What if a similarly 'flirty' remark was made by a male T.A. to a female teenage pupil - would you think it was OK then?

[Khandro]

//What if a similarly 'flirty' remark was made by a male T.A. to a female teenage pupil - would you think it was OK then?//

That isn't the question.

[andy-hughes]

Khandro - ////What if a similarly 'flirty' remark was made by a male T.A. to a female teenage pupil - would you think it was OK then?//

That isn't the question. //

It's not the original question - but it puts some perspective on Sqad's response I believe.

Some men - and your response indicates that you are among them - think that a mature woman teasing a male teenager in an inappropriate setting is just a bit of fun, but I do wonder if Sqad - and indeed yourself, would be smiling knowingly if the genders were reversed.

[jambutty]

I think it's inappropriate, but as you say he only has a month to go, I'd tend to leave it. Will he come into contact with her much more during that month?

[andy-hughes]

jambutty - ..I think it's inappropriate, but as you say he only has a month to go, I'd tend to leave it. Will he come into contact with her much more during that month? //

There is the prospect that this lady's behaviour could become problematic in the future for another pupil or pupils.

From an adult perspective, it's easy to see that no harm is meant, but just because no harm is meant does not mean that no harm is done.

[Sqad]

Well there we go andy..,I think it is innocuous and you don't.

[Mamyalynne]

Yes the TA has overstepped the line, but you seem to have done the right thing and chatted with your son openly about this.

He needs to know this type of thing will crop up and how to deal with it in future - a quiet word with her on a personal level would be ideal to save her from future incidents of a similar nature.

[Khandro]

andy; If you and a teenager don't know what to do, Sqad and I do.
Once, and maybe still, Grandees used to hire the services of a professional mature lady to introduce their sons to the ways of the world.

[dave50]

If she's fit tell him to get in there!

[Mamyalynne]

'sexual predator'? - hardly.

[Mamyalynne]

Good grief!

[DTCwordfan]

I'd let it go for the moment....he said, she said and all that....there were no witnesses.

If he is going to come across her next year, then suggest to him to switch on his phone recorder if they are one-on-one......

[Old_Geezer]

"What if a similarly 'flirty' remark was made by a male T.A. to a female teenage pupil - would you think it was OK then?"

I'd treat them the same. Although were I a father then I'm probably genetically programmed to be more protective to a daughter. But I would assume it was supposed to be a bit of fun, the wink being the clincher. The only reason I'd be a little wary is the affect it had on Smowball's offspring (which the TA should have considered, but she's probably new) but I put that down to inexperience in handling someone teasing. Unless it progressed further I would suggest simply reassuring the young person and monitoring the situation.

[andy-hughes]

Khandro - //andy; If you and a teenager don't know what to do, Sqad and I do.
Once, and maybe still, Grandees used to hire the services of a professional mature lady to introduce their sons to the ways of the world. //

I defer to your blatant masculinity and overall manliness.

What's it like living in 1953?

[Khandro]

//What's it like living in 1953?//
It wasn't too good, but the men were men and the women were glad of it

Eee, It were tough down't pit tha knows.