Bullying?

[sherrardk]

My youngest daughter, nearly 9 years old, has been having problems with another girl in her class for some time. This other girl is sweetness and light to my daughter in the classroom and then is horrible to her out of the classroom - all little things, like name calling, saying mean things about her to other children just loud enough for my daughter to hear, trying to take her friends off her, etc. Every time there is an incident my daughter tells staff she is feeling ill to cover up that she is upset. Would this be classed as bullying or am I being over the top?

[bednobs]

yes its bullying, no you are not being OTT

[emmie]

classed as bullying, i would have a word with the school.

[sherrardk]

I thought it was bullying but I've got mam rage about it. I have already been in but I think they are reluctant to do much about it as the child's mother is a primary teacher and is on the board of governors. I will go in again tomorrow and be a bit 'firmer' and I will use the term bullying (and I will not get upset or call the other child a nasty little ***).

[woofgang]

Yes, bullying of an especially nasty kind.

[bednobs]

ask t see their policy

[woofgang]

sherrardk, ask for a copy of their policy on bullying. They have to have one and have to give you a copy.

[sherrardk]

I've read the policy (it's on their web site) but it's v vague (as all bullying policies are). Got v cross about the bit where it said 'bullies will be supported ...'

[woofgang]

If the policy is vague, make a list of the bits you want clarification on and keep asking until you get it

[sherrardk]

I had to go in a few weeks ago, when a different child hit and kicked my daughter, and I was v firm. I was v pleased with the way they sorted it out. Just wanted to make sure others viewed it as bullying.

[jennyjoan]

my neighbour was telling me about same scenario with her daughter but the other "nice" little girl is her cousin which has made things very difficult.

saw neighbour's little girl today walking home from school and at 3.30 looked she was on the verge of tears - unbelievable

[sherrardk]

Hope your neighbour gets it sorted out. My daughter quite often comes out of school in tears or she feigns illness.

[jourdain2]

This is bullying. No question. When my youngest daughter went up to secondary school she was so unfortunate as to have in her class a girl who I had taught top Juniors the year before (a job I took because the school I was in closed and I needed a year to find my feet in my natural home, Secondary). This girl gathered a cohort and dripped poison about me to my No. 2 for almost a year (What a horrible person your mum is, based on my having had to discipline said child.......... It is only now (she is in her mid-30's) that the damage has been cleared - daughter also now works in Education and understands what goes on. The perpetrator was unearthed last year and was truly repentant, so that helped.

No, you are not OTT - speak to school, please.

[mazie]

When I had this problem with my Son sherr I went to see the boys mother. It got sorted very quickly and the boys became good friends. Speak to the parents first.

[sherrardk]

I have no qualms about going in to school. I shan't approach the parents because I have a pretty clear idea of what will happen (dad will defer to mum, mum will pull the teacher and governor card). I'll speak to the class teacher tomorrow (who will come with me to speak to the deputy head about it) and I'll see how it goes from there.

[diddlydo]

You are absolutely right - it is bullying and your first port of call must be the class teacher (I speak as governor and ex-teacher).

[sherrardk]

I did speak to the teacher and the dad went in last night. Didn't get an update today because they've had a science day and the kids were hyper and the teachers were knackered.

[anneasquith]

How was you're daughter today sher?

[paddywak]

When I was a kid I had a short spell after I moved school when a couple of the other kids tried bullying me,fortunately this was before the age of PC so a couple of thumps to the nose solved the problem.

[sherrardk]

She had a terrible time Tuesday, but the teacher did some work with her and the other girl yesterday which was better. Today seems to have been okay, thanks for asking.

[anneasquith]

We hate to think anyone being nasty to our children. Its great she has confided in you, not all children do . good luck.