ChatterBank4 mins ago
Moving Out At 16 (With Certain Circumstances)
29 Answers
I'm currently 16 and have just left school, I want to move out because my house isn't a pleasant surrounding it's me and my mum, we've never gotten along for long periods of time due to me disagreeing with her attitude and not really wanting to be apart of a family unit, moral of the story is that I'm happier with friends than I am going for a meal or spending time with family. The reason I am so desperate is because 9 months ago an experience happened to us that was traumatic and heavily my fault, we got a family worker to help with the communication issues with me and my mum, reccently another incident to do with sexual assault happened to me, which was in no way my fault apart from the fact I was under the influence of alcohol, I didn't tell her for 3 weeks however it just came out and my life has been tipped upside down, she's taken my right of freedom I had before and I can no longer stay out and I now have a curfew, on top of that we've had numerous arguments and she has blamed me for the incident before and said rash things out of frustration, she is now misinterpreting my actions as wanting to leave so I can hang out with friend 24/7 and drink etc. but does not understand that I haven't been happy at home and she's made me feel worse by saying that all I seem to do is cause her trouble, shes said if I dont want to follow her rules the doors open, so currently ive been offered a place to stay by a friend for a limited time and want to look into moving out because of how incredibly unhappy I am, financial stability is less of a problem for me as my dad won a mil on the lottery, and I was given £50,000 of that, I have £40,000 in a savings account and £3,000 something in my current account, I can't access the savings account at this moment but am unsure whether I would be able to if I moved out. My predicament is if I apply for social services to house me and they make an assessment of my situation, if they talk to my mum she has stated that she will say that she didn't kick me out, would they make me go home instead of housing me? And how severe would they treat the case, as I'd only have a limited time staying at a friends house. My other option is to wait until my 18 year old friend has a full time job and wants to move out, which should be in the next 2 months, would it be possible for me to get a full time job in the holidays? As I'm going to a sixth form college starting in september and will have to work part time, is there any money benefits available to me when I start college? As my only worry is that that money is for the future, and I do want to go to university and travel at some point, I don't want to be eating away into money carelessly.
Answers
Have a look through the info here. then get some advice. https://
15:16 Fri 23rd Jun 2017
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Have a look through the info here. then get some advice.
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Why I'm asking the question is because I want to find out the support that I can get, and if there is support available for me in the situation, if I have to move out with a friend and cannot be housed because my situation isn't as dyre as someone elses, then I plan to get a full time job for the 6+ weeks I have off, and a part time job when starting college, and to apply for some sort of benefit.
On the note of making two posts, I didn't know whether putting it in 'how things work' would be appropriate and wanted to put it in 'law' aswell, so I repasted it, but then realised that it didn't ask for a catagory and instead posted it twice, and theres no possible way to delete it, I'll take that advice though
On the note of making two posts, I didn't know whether putting it in 'how things work' would be appropriate and wanted to put it in 'law' aswell, so I repasted it, but then realised that it didn't ask for a catagory and instead posted it twice, and theres no possible way to delete it, I'll take that advice though
I know it would be near on impossible to find a flat by myself at 16, but I have been told and read about getting a flat with an 18+ person and having a shared tenant, so if I stay at my friends house for a few days/weeks and ring up my local council and inform them of my situation, they wouldn't make me go home? Would they have to house me if I didn't feel happy living at home, as we argue a lot and don't get along.
Ah, as for my dad, my 20y/o sister lives with him, and she has refused to let me live with them, and because she spent the money he gave her partly on the house, it's her decision as well.
My dad is a wanderer, he's pretty much useless he just agrees with anyone to get out of conflict, and he hasn't been much of a dad since I was born to be honest, the only reason my sister moved out at 17 is because she found my mum too hard to live with and wanted independance.
Ah, as for my dad, my 20y/o sister lives with him, and she has refused to let me live with them, and because she spent the money he gave her partly on the house, it's her decision as well.
My dad is a wanderer, he's pretty much useless he just agrees with anyone to get out of conflict, and he hasn't been much of a dad since I was born to be honest, the only reason my sister moved out at 17 is because she found my mum too hard to live with and wanted independance.
What kind of difference does that make? I know that it's extremely hard to get a full time job for a limited amount of time, and I'll have to transfer to having a part time job at College, I've been told the college offers support for teens living away from home, also I'm not sure if the savings account's money can be accessed until i'm 18 as it is in my mum's possession.
In regard to family counselling, my family worker was about to sign me off, however after this situation arose she cannot yet sign me off, after my appointment with her my mum got home from work and seemed to be punishing me, or taking precautions for her own sanity as she called it after the situation, we had a heated argument and the next day my family worker came to see her, and we talked through it and she seemed to cool down, but since then things have only seemed to get worse, honestly i'm just tired I already have no energy to keep up with the demands, I don't want to fall into a depression because my life is now under surveillance and control, so I'm concerned with my mental health aswell since I have had episodes like this before and she'll just ignore the problem or assume that I wont tell her, she'd never take me to the doctors or offer that kind of support to make homelife better. We've had this family worker almost a year now and my mum and I's relationship is still strained, the methods worked for awhile but my mum is very self orientated, she get's stressed about these 'big problems' as she calls them and looks for pity in it a lot of the time, but when I am frustrated and not in the mood for certain things, so have a certain attitude there's no excuse for it in her eyes.
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