Talking To Parents.

[gness]

An acquaintance of mine has found some items his dad made during WW2 when he was away from family for so long.
He knows nothing about them, where they were made etc.. He knows his dad didn't want to go over dreadful experiences but wishes he had maybe asked him a little more.
This got Dave and I talking about our parents. How much of their lives and experiences we were told.
My dad, one of sixteen children, died when I was eighteen. In those eighteen years he told me just one story about him and an uncle. I don't know where he lived when he went to the UK in the 40s. What he did. Where he worked.
I have found out so much more since moving here and he came from a really interesting family. How I wish he had shared more with me.

Did your parents share with you?

[Prudie]

They did but only by chance. Since I lost my mum some years back this is one of my biggest regrets, that I didn't ask more not only about her and her life and family but even me. I have a really good memory in some ways, I can picture houses I lived in as a child, I can recall the house names and where a couple were but some I only know the county and would love to look them up on google street view. We moved a lot because I was an RAF child. As a toddler we were in Singapore. Where did we live, have those dwellings been built over or what? Same with my dad and his childhood. I am trying to make a point of reminding my daughter of her and my younger life - but we have a tendency for in one ear and out the other when parents prattle on :-)

[barry1010]

When my dad died I found out he had bern married before and his first wife died in childbirth whilst he was away fighting during the war. That baby died when she was 2. My mother lived in the same house after marrying my dad for the rest of her life.
I knew nothing about my dad's childhood except his father died when he was 9

[Bobbisox1]

One story told to me as a child was the night my Dad who was with the RAF serving in Egypt in WW2, how he sat in a tent playing cards with King Farouk , then later in the night he felt a bayonet in his back , yup it was his mate the card shark,now I don’t for one minute think this was true, it’s more what a Dad would say when sitting on his knee :0)

[Sqad]

Didn't know my Dad, never met him, mother married and developed her own family, brought up by my grandparents.

I have no interest in sharing or investigating my Ancestry.

That was then...this is now.

[piggynose]

*card sharp

[Bobbisox1]

Piggy, are you ABs spelling policeman ?

[Prudie]

But Sqad you could have royal blood and not even know, you must have got that touch of class from somewhere :-)

[Bobbisox1]

Oops, I always thought it was shark,and I’d wrote shark , oh well ( sorry Gness for the diversion)

[Sqad]

Prudie.....LOL.....I know that I am a "class act" but couldn't care less how I obtained it.
With my luck if I had Royal blood it would be from Prince Andrew ;-)

[Prudie]

Bobbi either is perfectly correct, shark is used more in US.

[Bobbisox1]

Cheers Prudie ;)

[Barmaid]

My mother encouraged my love of history and regularly sends me pictures and copies of bits and pieces that she has from her collection passed down from both her paternal and maternal grandparents. We email each other all the time with history snippets.

My father knew very little other than what he can remember and has regularly discussed his childhood on the family farm (where his brother now lives).

I am very lucky insofar as I knew my great grandparents on my maternal side - their daughter (my grandmother) who is 96 loves to tell me stories from the past and I lap it up. She has a massive collection of photos and she has written on the back who everyone is! My grandfather who died in 2019 was a great raconteur and between us mum and I have written down a lot of his memories. Including being in Anzio and liberating Rome. I was lucky enough to accompany him to Italy in 2013 so he could say "goodbye" to his mates.

[piggynose]

Piggy, are you ABs spelling policeman ?
me, no! i just thought it was a typo!. I didnt know our friends across the pond say `card shark´

[pastafreak]

My mum came from a big family. She was third after 2 elder sisters...11 siblings in all. They were the children of immigrants.

Mum talked quite a bit about growing up...how her father made the trip from Italy to NY 9 times...before bringing his bride. They seemed to be a close family...the youngest went along on dates and acted as chaperones. The eldest took care of the little ones. Then the memories of the great influenza pandemic...snd how my mum lost her hair. Later...her working life and how the and dad met.
My father was different...he spoke very little about his family. His mum married 3 times...unheard of...and he left the Deep South to get away from his step father. He tried to join the army at 14...ww1...his mother dragged him home. He had 2 brothers. One we never met,the other would appear out of the blue. It wasn't until about 6 years ago that my brother and myself learned that that brother was married to a Native American woman of the Cree tribe and they had twin boy and girl...this was because 'heir hunters' tracked us town...the daughter was still alive in San Francisco,very old,no other relatives. It is this part of my history that I wish I knew more about. There is no one left. For the longest time I lived with the belief that there is native American in my genes...maybe not. Maybe some stories got mixed up.
My, I've gone on a bit.

[Redhelen72]

My dad shared a lot my mother not so.
I know my dad was arrested in an ‘Arab’ country and eventually kicked out for taking pictures of planes whilst on official business. I know my great grandparents owned ones of the biggest laundries in Devon.

[gness]

Thank you for your answers. Interesting reading and I envy those who had family history told to them.
Family have been researching and though I appreciate your thoughts on this, Sqad I've been learning so much....some of it explains why I'm like I am! :-)
My family were friends with Vanderbilts, Presidents and one uncle a close friend of Jack Ruby. They did well in America and on a trip home bonfires were lit from Cork to here to welcome them. I never knew.

Another of my father's cousins worked with American astronauts. Wouldn't have been too interested but I narrowly missed an opportunity to meet him when I was close by. Again it wasn't mentioned until I went to the UK and Uncle F said....oh you could have popped in to see Uncle Jack when you were there.
I think we need to talk more....leave things for the next generation so they can read and say.....Oh Mother!!! You didn't?....instead of..... I wonder what.... :-)

[Barsel]

Wow, some really interesting stories here.
Gness you never cease to amaze me with what you've done, who you knew, where you've been and even what you do now.
Pasta, again I found that really interesting.
If I were you, I would do one of those DNA tests where they can tell you where the majority of your family comes from.
I'm pretty sure that if I did one of those tests it would come back as Lancashire with a bit of Yorkshire. I've always found Ancestry interesting and I did trace my family some years ago but when I found out where my Great Grandmother and GGfather were buried I went to find the grave and they had had a paupers burial so there was no headstone even. I was so upset, I couldn't do it anymore.

[jno]

my parents talked a bit - apparently Mum later complained that her children never asked her about her wartime experiences, but I didn't have to, she told me them all anyway. (The war was quite recent in those days.) But she didn't talk much about meeting Dad after the war.

If people start investigating genealogy, it's usually after their parents die and they realise how little they know about the past. I think kids these days are mre likely to be told to interview their parents about their childhood as school projects, and that's a good idea.

[jno]

Barsel, you didn't have to be a pauper to have no headstone, it was really only over the last 100 years children started providing them. The first headstone in my family was in the early 1900s - and every single fact on it is wrong.

[Barsel]

I asked my daughters if they would be interested in my family history and they said no not really, so I didn't bother telling them.
When I saw where my great-grandparents were buried, I stood there and cried which I thought was strange as I never knew them, and I did say I would have a headstone made for them, but I never got around to it. Perhaps I might feel better though if I did.