Rainbow Baby

[barry1010]

This is a new one for me.  Our friend is very upset because her daughter is very upset and angry.

The daughter is expecting her first baby and somebody has referred to it, we don't know if it will be a boy or girl, as a rainbow baby and she didn't know what it meant.

It means a baby born after a previous pregnancy ended in miscarriage or stillbirth.  Supposedly an extra blessing.

She did have a late miscarriage three years ago and is angry and upset about this term.  She says every baby is a blessing, an individual and should not be burdened with such a label and implied expectations.  She is simply having a baby, not a substitute or compensation.

I sympathise with her and wondered if this is a common term.  How do you view it? 

[elliemay1]

I hate labels of any kind and I completely understand how she feels

[Maydup]

It's a commonly used term and a comfort to some but clearly not all.

[calmck]

The term Rainbow Baby was first used in 2008 after being mentioned in a book telling stories of pregnancy loss and other heartaches. It is said to be reflective of the rainbow that appears after a storm a baby after an infant loss.

some find comfort with this and others do not. 

[naomi24]

I've never heard of it but I agree with your friend's daughter.  It would upset me.  

[Smowball]

I've never heard of it either but I too understand your friends /daughters upset x

[barry1010]

Thanks for your comments.  The more I have thought about it the more I dislike it.

 

[1ozzy]

Yeah, labels suck.

But I guess this one represents the pot of gold you finally found.

Children are precious. 

[Redhelen72]

For some though a rainbow baby is bringing joy where there was sadness.

personally I think she is being over sensitive 

[Neveracrossword]

Carrie Johnson used the term when she gave birth to her daughter, and that led to many newspapers having pieces on rainbow babies, something bright after a storm and so on. I haven't seen the term used so much in the recent past.

[douglas9401]

Another jaw-dropper up there.

[10ClarionSt]

Some people can't face reality.

[Cloverjo]

She's grieving for the baby she lost. I suppose the term Rainbow Baby could be seen as saying "You're having another one. Get over it. You're fine now."

 

[Bobbisox1]

I've heard the term before, used by a friend who's had two miscarriages before going on to have four babies 2 & twins

[Peter Pedant]

dont use a term that upsets a pregnant woman - upset is fickle, unpredictable, unreasonable ( think pregnant)

I saw someone have a paddy over - 'fall' - didnt like 'fall pregnant' - bit like ABers really with their dislikes.

A friend's wife didnt want anyone to KNOW she was pregnant (!) - er... there is a baby at the end. She suddenly has a baby from nowhere.

Oh that is all right: she doesnt mind everyone seeing a baby and saying oo look a new baby

righto! as someone is given to saying. Jesus.

( oh and never never call the child 'it' - at least I can relate to that one)

 

[bednobs]

It's very common in baby loss circles. I too think your friend is being sensitive. Its fine not to like the term, but tell the person and move on

[Peter Pedant]

but tell the person and move on

god no! that will precipitate a major paddy. Possible a threatened miscarriage ( 'all your fault'). If the child comes out look like Mike Tyson, you will be Definitely the Cause for that stupid unfeeling remark, 23 weeks ago

[anneasquith]

What's to dislike ? It's a comforting term for most parents. Whoever dislikes it doesn't have to use it . 

[naomi24]

Anneasquith, if you read the OP the pregnant lady didn't use it.  Someone else did.  It wouldn't comfort me.  One baby doesn't replace another like some sort of consolation prize.

[ToraToraTora]

Never heard of the term, doesn't sound too bad to me but then again I will never be a pregnant person!

[Ellipsis]

Never heard of it. In my experience, many people say things wisely or stupidly, and other people take them well or badly. You can't change what people have already said, you can only change what you respond to it.