need some help, about lads

[sarah*]

hi

Ive wrote on here couple of times bout a lad i like at work, he had a gf when we first met but we both flirted like mad and i started getting really close to him but was very wary, then his gf split up and he opened up to me loads and thats wen i started to fall completely but becouse of religious and cultural differences i didnt want to say anything anyway he started asking me out and telling me he really like me, then on christmas day i got a txt of him saying he loves me load and i told him i loved him aswell but was scared to do anything couse of family and stuff and i needed time to think, basically it was him or my family, he sed i was a gud mate and needed me no matter wat, i chose him and the day i was gonna tell him, he told me another girl asked him out and he was going out wit her. i took it hard and went funny with him for a bit and he asked me y, i sed i was bit jelous but didnt tell him i loved him and was gonna go with him, over my family. any way 4 month have passed and im less hurt and can cope with seeing them together and he says im his best mate and has always been there for him but still flirts and told his mate he still likes me if and if it wernt for my religion and stuff he would be going out wit me.

any way yesterday he txt me and started txtin about his gf, he sed he loves her loads and misses her wen shes away and raelly wants her, and i was heart broken even tho i was happy for him, couldnt stop crying and im really emotional even now, i still love him and i no i cant carry on like this but he says he needs me as im his best mate and he wants to make sure i will neva lose contact with him, so confused and deep down i just want him, sorry for tha long essay but need help or cheering up or anything please x x

[stylinsam]

could i ask what your religion is if you dont mind?

[sarah*]

yeah im a muslim and he is white and does not believe in god but that has not made any difference to our friendship or anything

[Richie1976]

Hi sarah, I think you need to look after number 1 here. He's messing you around and confusing you, which is sh1tty on his party. Bin him off and get yourself someone that you deserve.

[Richie1976]

Hey sam, is life still treating you good?

[Champagne]

Sarah, you sound very young, which probably doesn't help matters as you are likely to be very sensitive and susceptible. I agree with Richie in part. You do need to give yourself a break from this man for a while, at least until you come to terms with the fact that he loves you, but clearly not in the same way that you love him. You will get over him eventually, but not as long as he�s on the scene. Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind; even to yourself.

I can�t say that this guy is to blame though, as it sounds that he isn�t fully aware of the situation.

[silverdaler]

Hiya hun.

you must be really hurt i'm sure, and i feel for you.

it sounds to me like he is keeping you on a string, you boost his ego by still wanting him and by being there for him, but the time has come for you to look after yourself and protect your own feelings.

i cant imagine what it must be like to be unable to date someone you really like just because of your religion, but thats not even the issue now. you have stayed loyal to your culture, which takes an enormous amount of strength and i admire you. there is no need for him to keep rubbing his happiness in your face and i think you need to pull away now. tell him you are happy for him, but he has someone else to depend on now.

you sound lovely, and i am sure someone much more worthy of you is just around the corner.

good luck chicknee !

x

[sarah*]

i just wish i can just think about me and not him but i cant, im 19 and ive known him for 2 years so it isnt very long and im aware i probably sound like a young teenager who is loved up with a guy and i probably am, i really dont no.

im gonna c him at work today but have no idea how to act, should i carry on as normal as he needs me and relies on me and i wanna stay mates with him even tho its hurting to see them together or should i start backing off big time,

i dont wanna seem jelaous of it all and dont want him to think i am so if i start backing of thats what he mite think i dunno x x

[silverdaler]

whats wrong with showing your true feelings ? let him know that you are finding it harder to cope than you thought and that it would be best all round if you were a bit more distant

be strong - for your own protection hun xxxxxx

[stylinsam]

yeah richie lifes gone from bad to fantastic i feel so fresh and happy and i feel great cheers 4 thinking about me richie.

[stylinsam]

sarah sorry didnt reply to your post straight away im very busy at work. i thnk that you are better than this man, have you told him lately that you like him or does he think that you used to like him but dont anymore. i think that you should chat to him about it.

you never get anywhere unless you push yourself first.