comical similie's

[mountainboo]

can anyone give me some comical similie's. They can be anything

[eddiebun]

Try

http://www.similepedia.com/

[Clanad]

I'm happy as a mosquito in a nudist colony...

Like eating ice cream with a knitting needle

The realization hit me like a bucket of cold water.

She was so bowlegged she looked like two giraffes kissing (Milton Berle)

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

John and Mary had never met, like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

She was as easy as the "TV Guide" crossword

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost

I'd like to claim they are my originals, sadly mine are as funny as a rubber crutch...

[Thicko2006]

As redundant as your apostrophe?

[peppy]

Best one yet Thick2006 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[peppy]

Sorry, Thicko2006, forgot your o in me excitement xx

[makemesmile]

You have all the allure of a busdriver's sock

[makemesmile]

How old are you mountainboo? Hope you're old enough to read these...

She had a f@nny like a wizards sleeve/clowns pocket.

It smelt as bad as McKeith's handbag (dr gillian - with poo sample)

Going at it like a pig at a tater (potato)

(purloined from Viz)

[Thicko2006]

Thank you, peppy.

[mountainboo]

Thank you for those everybody and don't worry makemesmile I am in late 20's so old enough to read them. I'm retaking English Language GCSE and current module places alot of emphasis on similie's. All the above are great

[ali_alic]

Good luck with you GCSE in english - but as thicko2006 pointed out - watch your apostrophes (not apostrophe's!)

[carrust]

Sweating like a Geordie in a spelling test.

[Avatar]

Sweating like a p*dophile in a playground.

Happy as a pig in sh1t

Shaking like a sh1tting dog.

Im so thirsty Ive got a tongue like Gandhi's flip-flop

(someone has) got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

[mountainboo]

Thanks ali_alic, still getting to grips with punctaution but thicko was quite apt

[carrust]

Dry as a dead dingo's donger.

As secrative as an ABer on a certain other web-site that's been started-up in the last month or so????

[con-amca]

I suggest you watch your spelling for your GCSE also, mountainboo. It's "simile", plural "similes". Good luck.

[jezmatron]

clanad they are genius.. you've had me in stitches.. sorry I can't contribute..

[Clanad]

Stitches? OK... Security is a patchwork quilt of color and pattern and stitches that comes undone like a baby's blanket in the sore mouths of silly teething puppys...

[Clanad]

... and one last one... My fingers danced across the keyboard, like Gene Kelly after a cup of Starbucks liquid crack and a Red Bull chaser....

[tracerfire]

Do all you can to find scripts or excepts from any of Les Dawson's standup routines....his famous "Mother-in-Law" similies are legendary ("She had a body like a bag full o' spanners....")

[tracerfire]

Whoops. Typo. "Excerpts" that should be.
Also, take a look at Blackadder which produced gems like "Madder than Mad Jack McMad, winner of last year's Mr Madman competition."
"I've got a plan so cunning, you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel." or "As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University."
"I'm as happy as a Frenchman who's just invented a pair of self-removing trousers."
"I'm as weary as a dog with no legs that's just climbed Ben Nevis" but you need to have the right sort of SOH....