concerned about sons behaviour in school

[aims1202]

My son is 6 and in year 2 at school, the other week i was called in to speak to his teacher and head teacher about his behaviour, they said it had changed in the last couple of weeks. They said he was messing about and being silly in class and upsetting other children, it was disrupting the lessons and having an effect on his learning. They said it was different to how he had been in year 1 and they were concerned. They asked me if there had been any changes at home recently. There have been no changes. I have actually been quite surprised about this because at the end of year 1 he seemed to be learning so much and enjoying it and appeared happy at school, over the summer holidays i had been thinking how much he had matured. He is a good boy at home and i have no problems, he has a sister who is 1yr old and he adores her, he is lovely with her and helpful too. He has been telling me recently that he has been told off and often comes home upset about what has happened at school. His teacher says that he does not stop when asked to and often has to be removed from the class, they say he appears not to care about being told off. They say he lacks empathy towards other children.
Yesterday i went in to see his teacher again and i saw his class coming out of the music room, i saw my son being silly in the line and laughing, then told off. I never see him being like this out of school, its like watching another child and now i am very worried. In school he is different from others and seems to be having difficulty keeping friends where as out of school he has friends and is just like any other child. I just wondered if anyone had experience with this sort of thing. Thanks.

[Androcles]

I'm no expert but reading your description it is as if he is bored out of his mind in school, not being challenged, so is livening things up a bit for entertainment. Has he been assessed see if this is a possibility?

[aims1202]

I did consider that myself but as the school say he is getting behind in his work because of his behaviour i don't think they are thinking that at all. They said they have assessed him for any learning difficulties and he does not appear to have any. There is a language unit in his school and he has been assessed by the SALT but she found no difficulties at all. He seems to be learning so much and is very keen to do his work at home, when we do work together i know he is progressing. At school though he just does not want to do it. I noticed he looks tired in school and yawns a lot but when he's home he's full of energy!

[katieb73]

That is a bored child, not necessarily exceptionally gifted, but most definitely bored. Is there anyone else you can seek advice from?

Good luck with it, I hope he continues to learn and enjoy x

[Ankou]

if your child is being pegged disruptive on a regular basis, talk to the teacher and get specifics on what the teacher considers disruptive. also talk to your child to understand why your child is behaving this way. without realising it, disruptive behavior may be your child's way of making friends or getting more attention. and disruptive behavior can be a sign that your child is frustrated due to a learning disability or is bored because he is under challenged.

larking around in line is hardly what i would personanlly call disruptive, maybe the teacher at the school is less tolerant - has anything changed in the schoool set up ? if the teachers are being less tolerant, then maybe this is why he doesn't care about being told off, perhaps he has come to just expect it as a matter of course.

[DEN53]

aims, reading your post, it could have been me writing this about my son. It sounds like your son is just finding his feet in Year 2. When they first start school it is new and a bit daunting to say the least. Some children like to see how far they can push he boundaries - unfortunately some teachers like to categorise children and mostly only like the submissive ones.

I had very similar problems with my son at that age, he did well in all his subjects, but did like to act the classroom clown, larking about in line and talking a lot in class. One teacher in particular, constantly called me in school to tell me about something or the other he had done. Children do pick up on if a teacher does not warm to them - teachers should be impartial and treat all pupils the same - I know from personal experience this is not the case. Your son may be picking this up from a teacher, so to try and please them, he feels the need to act different.

Them asking you if anything has changed at home - this is a classic teacher question - put the blame on the home life. I would also say, aims, be very careful what information you give teachers. It does not always stay confidential and can become the talk of the staff room.

I think your son sounds like a normal 6 year old little boy. Try not to worry (but we all do).

My son is 20 but it is still fresh in my mind how nasty and judgmental some teachers can be.

Love Denise xx

[LittleMissxx]

Hello my love !!!!! Theo will be one on Thursday , flys by dont it, Did u see my other post. My son is acting up too. Im thinking jealousy, (not that i think yours is) Sometimes he really loves the baby then when he thinks im not looking he does some dreadful things. Really at a loss. How are u in yourself. Im back to work now, baby in nursery, only 4 hours. All going well. He still up every two hours though. DRAINING !!

[aims1202]

Hi littlemiss!! We are good thanks. I know, can hardly believe they are 1yr now, time flies! Riya is really good been walking a few weeks, very cheeky and cute :) I am lucky, she is a good sleeper. Liam did go through a bit of jealousy, not at first but when Riya was around 4mths for a bit. But now he is so good with her, always kissing and cuddling her and loves playing with her and she adores him too, which is so lovely. Very puzzled about school as no problems at home, it makes sense that he might be bored there, also he is saying now he can't hear properly sometimes so need to get that checked out. xxxx

[AB Editor]

I am of two minds on this subject...

The first one is that the teacher needs to do a better job of handling the situation, especially if he isn't acting up at home. Are you allowed to come visit school and observe his behavior? Maybe there's something setting him off- another unruly child or harsh words from the teacher.

The second is that maybe he has gotten uncomfortably fidgety and might need to look into ADHD meds? It would be something to speak to the doctor about.

The bottom line though, is that it sounds like he needs some help from you to sort out what's going on.

Good luck with it!

:-)

EveEd

[jno]

jno jnr, when young, often seemed to ignore requests to behave. Turned out he had glue ear and needed grommets. It is just possible he can't hear what people are saying and not responding appropriately.

[aims1202]

Thanks. He did have temporary hearing loss in one ear due to wax and i was told by doc to use olive oil, when i said this to his teachers they said it would not be that that would cause him to behave in this way. Last time we saw doc, couple of weeks ago she said it had now cleared enough for him to hear. But maybe he needs to have a hearing test.