letter

[nextqueen]

my friend's daughter lives away from home. she has had a letter come to her mother's house saying urgent on it and it isnt sealed at the back of the envelope, just tucked in. my friend has opened it as worried about it saying urgent. she couldnt get in touch with her daughter to tell her it had arrived straight away. anyway she opened it to have a look and it seems its from the woman/wife of a man who her daughter sounds like she had an affair with at work. the woman is saying they are now very happy together and have had a baby, she shouldnt need to sleep with her boss to get up the ladder etc and basically the girl did them a favour. my friend is totally shocked by this and never thought she would do something like this. she is wanting to confront her daughter but im saying to leave it, what do you think is best to do? if only she hadnt looked!

[squarebear]

No letter would be so urgent that it needed opening immediately. She shouldn't have looked.

[murraymints]

DO NOT GO THERE!!!! if it is done and dusted leave well alone...I am sure the daughter will have learned a lesson...I would shred the letter !!!

[ummmm]

I presume her daughter is a grown up? Free to make her own decisions...also free to learn from her mistakes. No one else business but the people involved.

[ljdksa]

You don't say how old the daughter is, but I would definitely speak to her!
The other option is that nothing has happened, but the wife has got the wrong end of the stick and is causing trouble. She didn't seal the envelope and I'm wondering if she actually didn't care who opened it?

[nextqueen]

her mother thinks she brought her up properly and she needs to have words but im saying no, i dont think she will let it rest and wants her daughter to let her know that she knows, but the finding out bit is bad i know unless she just says she heard about it.

[nextqueen]

she has already told her now anyway that there is a letter waiting for her, im dreading it in case her daughter asks her to open it while they are on the phone or something, boy, things are going to hit the fan. she is 27 btw.

[dotty.]

if yhou had opened it and it was telling her she has to go to hospital for an urgent scan or test you'd have done the right thing. It's not your fault the Sugar stirring biatch who wrote the letter sent it with 'urgent' on it. Sounds devious to me, why did she send ti unsealed? was she hoping a current partner of the girl might open it? It's probably an acy of a desperate woman, if the friends daughter is out of the picture why would a woman try to warn her off, doesn;t make sense

[murraymints]

I think she is asking for trouble confronting the daughter.. she is an adult now and not in the control of mum...it could have very nasty repurcussions to their relationship....mum never done anything stupid before ??...let the daughter live her life her way without interfering judgements or....suffer the consequences....

[ummmm]

You don't know the whole story though. Maybe he told her he wasn't married...or maybe he said 'his wife didn't understand him'

[redcrx]

your friend should now just keep quiet about what she read. She should not have opened it and will now have to carry her thoughts to herself. IF (and its a huge IF) the daughter wants to discuss it with her mother then and only then has she any chance in telling her daughter what she thinks.

[nextqueen]

i cant remember everything as i was so shocked when she was telling me, it did say something about the husband losing his job and wished her well in her new job as she knows she has left or something like that.

[dotty.]

I disagree that the mother shouldn;t have opened the letter, if it was marked urgent parental instinct kicks in. It would do for me, I;ve had a similar experience and thank god i did open the letter

[nextqueen]

she cant rip it up now can she as she has told her something has arrived. i think the daughter is away at the minute so hasnt returned her text/calls.i dread to think!

[squarebear]

She should just seal it back up and pretend she hasn't read it.

[ummmm]

I would have probably opened it as well. But I also realise that the behaviour of a 27 year old is not a reflection on my parenting skills..

[nextqueen]

it does sound like it was meant to be read by whoever though doesnt it as it wasnt sealed. you cant blame the wife i suppose, she must have felt devastated but does seem a weird thing to do.