advice on child custody rights please :)

[eeyore84]

i am the mum of a 6 year old boy, i left the father when he was 18 months old and ever since then we decided between ourselves to split the nights 50/50. he currently spends a week with me then a week with his dad (he's not working so this works ok). recently my sons schoolwork has been suffering and the teacher thinks he has ADD, the school have someone going in to check this. I now feel its time for him to be at home with me a lot more and for me to concentrate and help him through his schooling as much as i can. i told his father the nights are changing and he can pick him up from school on a thursday and return him to me saturday teatime on a weekly basis. he is not happy with this, says he has had legal advice and he is entitled to half the time. does anybody know what would happen if this went to court, as i thought 2 nights a week was more than average for a child to be at their fathers anyway??? Thanks

[sara3]

why is he not working?

[eeyore84]

hes just hasn't found work but has been looking and as far as i know hes starting a course or new job next week so its not like he will be around to meet my son from school during the week from now on anyway

[bednobs]

i don't see why if the child and father are willing it shouldn't be 50/50. How would you feel if he unilaterally decided YOUR time with your son would be cut more than in half??

[sara3]

does his father help him with his school work?

[NOX]

I agree with Eddie, if you possibly can keep this amicable. It's worked well for 4 years, so strive to keep it friendly. Put yourself in your ex's position, he's been used to having his son 50% of the time and that has worked well, now you suddenly say to him that that will in fact halve. He's going to be angry, upset and feel threatened, I'm sure you would if he had done the same thing to you, so just try to sit down and have a talk about it and find a reasoned way through. My ex and I have an amicable relationship which culminated in her moving abroad with my children, and I felt worried and slightly threatened briefly, but good communicaiton kept us on the straight and narrow which is better for the kids and better for both of you. I still see the kids as whenever I wish, they stay with me, and I go over there and stay with them. It takes effort but it's really worth it not to fall out with your child's other parent.

[pink-kittens]

I agree with Eddie
And why should you call all the shots?
Imagine you are your son, you've just been diagnosed with ADD and all of a sudden contact with your father is cut to 2 days a week. What goes through your head? It must be my fault I don't see daddy for a whole week at a time
Stop playing with your son's life. He has a routine, changing it now could have a long term derogatory affect on his whole life - seen it a million times
Too right your ex isn't happy with this and why would he be? Would you be if somebody decided just like that that you could only see your son 2 days a week? No, you wouldn't. Stop being selfish - you have a man that wishes to take part in his child's life. Embrace it, dont try to tear it apart