Money owed by friend

[Spudulika]

Stupidly I lent a close friend and his partner £3800 most of it from 2006 and some afterwards. After numerous conversations with them over the years, all I have succeeded in getting back from them is around £135. During that time it has been obvious that they have had money to afford to pay me some back by buying expensive phones, meals out etc and even getting loans for household goods/luxuries including one time when we were asked to give a verbal reference to Brighthouse so they could get a desperately needed fridge/freezer (or so we were told). Found out later that loan was for a 52" TV which I wouldn't have been happy to be a referee for.
I was verbally promised £100 a month a few months back for around 4 months but only received £100 in total.
I wrote to them 3 weeks ago advising that I wished to have payments start regularly from them at the end of each month with a list of all the amounts borrowed. Since then I have been subject to false allegations and abuse, along with blackmail for something I haven't done too but would be alot of trouble to sort out to prove I am innocent. They have now offered £10 a month and have paid £10 into my account. I know they can afford alot more than this and have told them in writing that I am not happy with this amount and would like them to prove either way whether they can or can't afford more and would like to negotiate for me although they have now said that they will no longer correspond with me. By their obvious spending habits I know they can afford more and am not happy to accept £10 a month.
What options do I have from here? Can I ask for more or take them to small claims if I am not happy with the amount they are repaying?
Please help as this has caused me so much upset & distress. They took advanage of me when I ws newly widowed & are known to be habitual liars - have caught them out so often and am worried they are going to start lying about me (which they have done before) and saying I have done things that I haven't.
Thank you!

[jules77]

Did you have anything in writing, signed by a witness, with an agreement repayment plan?

[factor-fiction]

I suggest you either get a solicitor to write a letter or you submit a claim to the small claims court.
However I know from experience that a getting a judgment in your favour won't necessarily mean that you will get any money from this person

[d9f1c7]

They are not your friends, you cannot get this money unless they have an attack of Honour, it seems unlikely. They are theiving lowlives just leave them to wallow in there own slime. people like this always think they are doing well, they will die hopeless and penniless, the cost to you is cheap. I would just write one final letter appealing to any honour they may have. Sadly I suspect, like is common these days, that it is 0.

[tenrec]

Agree with all the above. It does hurt, but you are better off without these leaches.

[Purple_Popple]

"Never a lender or a borrower be" sad but very very true.

[joko]

by the way they have behaved so far i very muhc doubt being nice etc is going to work a... its time to take action...show them you mean business...they are probably just hoping you'll give up, so dont allow them to get away with it

[autobagger]

true friends dont do this sort of thing ,show them that your doing something about it, GO AND SEE A SOLICITOR !!!

[d9f1c7]

I agree with joko and autobagger but I can't see what can be done legally with only a verbal agreement.

[tonywiltshire]

You have unfortunately learnt the hard way not to loan money to current friends, who may let you down when the time comes to repay, though it is not an unusual position and happens to many people. It seems as though they have acknowledged the debt and made offers to repay and this could be important, as the usual response is that no debt exists. As others have said go and see a solicitor with all the evidence you have of the debt and the borrower’s ability to repay, ask them to write on your behalf and make a reasonable (it is important in law to show you have behaved reasonably) repayment suggestion, they may just pay you on receipt of the letter.
Put a time limit for acceptance of your terms which if not received you will instruct your solicitor to take action through the county court, if no acceptance start proceeding to recover the sum. Your solicitor will guide you and explain it may be a long process and the court will not recover the money, make sure they have the ability to pay before any action.

[woofgang]

I would suggest that you decide what to do on the basis of what will give you closure and not send good money after bad. IMO you don't stand a lot of chance of getting the money back.

[Spudulika]

Thank you for all the advice. I've just discovered another huge lie that they have told me - they said that they couldn't afford to make me any payments as they were living hand to mouth although their son still gets new designer clothing etc! They said that they couldn't even afford to buy a new car so his Dad paid £850 (or £900 depending on which one you talk to) for the car he has now. Have got this in writing! Not true - the garage he got it from let slip today that he made a gentlemans agreement and is actually paying monthly for it! Aaaaaargh! This started back in September.
Unfortunately I am now actually living hand to mouth so Solicitors are a little too expensive for me - that's why I want my money back!
Huge, massive lesson to have learned! I'm just too trusting - not any more!

[Lillymoon]

This happens in families too. Not that I lend money to family, I usually give it if I can afford to.

Aftermymum passed away in 2010, I suggested to my sister that I would make sure her bills were paid, to save us a bit of money rather than the solicitor charging for each one.
We agreed that once the house was sold she would pay her share, well 10 months later, she announces she cant afford to pay half of mums bills.

I said to forget about it and not to contact me again. Yes I know it sounds harsh, but she would have received a lot less if the solicitor had dealt with it.

As it is its me who's lost out. Thats what happens when you put your trust in, well anyone really for large amounts of money.

I feel for you Spudulika.

[d9f1c7]

Gentlemans agreedment? I think the Garage is also going to be owed then. I'm pretty sure the garage would have got a proper finance agreement.

[Spudulika]

We live in a small village & it's the village garage who they actually live next door to that has let him pay for the car in that way. Unfortunately for him, we have known the people in the garage for alot longer than he has so they just happened to mention the agreement in general chat. Got him on this one!