Mbe After Death

[Prudie]

Does an MBE pass to a surviving wife (for example) on the death of her husband who was awarded the medal? I've been googling but am going round in circles.
I don't mean the medal itself but the letters after name.

[EcclesCake]

No

[Prudie]

Short but not particularly sweet. Eccles do you know this from experience/knowledge?

[jackthehat]

No, it doesn't.

A family member of mine was an MBE. He died last year. It doesn't pass on to his widow.

[Prudie]

Thank you jack. It's just someone I know locally is doing this.

[jackthehat]

That's very 'Mrs. Bucket' of her.....:o)

An honorary title does not confer any title upon the spouse.

[EcclesCake]

Sorry I was just off to do something else and thought I would answer; short and accurate.

The honour is bestowed on the individual and it dies with them, it is not transferable. I'd be interested to know why this person thinks they can claim the glories of their spouse.

[hc4361]

It is 'proper' for a married woman to be address as Mrs. John Smith, even when she is widowed.

It would be correct to address her Mrs. John Smith, OBE; it would be wrong to address her as Mrs. Jill Smith, OBE whether her spouse is alive or not.

[sandyRoe]

It seems a fairly harmless piece of oneupmanship.

[Peter Pedant]

People havent been v forthcoming on this one.

War medals WERE wearable by the widow
but these sort of rules were known by my parents generation .

I think you had to wear the miniature ones and I am not sure bu the widows wowre them on the other side - or perhaps not

a tired and emotional Russell Crowe wore his father's medal to an oscar ceremony and altho' people said it wasnt allowed, they wre basically chamed that he had done so and honoured his Dad

I think Buck House has a protool officer - ring them and ask if a widow can wear her late husband's MBE

and No if Mrs John Smith whose name is Amalia is widowed
then she becomes Mrs Amalia Smith and that is how you tell if her hubby is dead or not. This rule has been eroded but for olds such as myself I am definitely uncomfortable with 'Mrs AAmalia Smith' if I know that John is still alive. Oh and if she is a peers wife she goes from Countess Lampshire to Amalia Countess Lampshire. All the dowagers I know, not many, are sticklers for this.

oh god do the letters move - oops didnt read the q - definitely not

[woofgang]

PP I am a widow but still title myself formally as Mrs (Husband's christian name) surname. If I don't use the Mrs, ie I am using my name not my title, then I use my own christian name and surname (I took my husband's surname when we married)

[dotty.]

I thought I had been correctly informed by my mother that when my grandad died i should then write to my grandmother as Mrs A Lumb not Mrs E Lumb, he was ernest.
Also, when i worked for the house of fraser many many many years ago, the lady in the furniture sales office, olive, had a husband who was awarded the mbe for services to the artificial limb dept of cardiff hospital, this meant that he could be buried in westminster abbey, she used his name and the MBE thing whilst i knew her, she must be dead now or 105.

[woofgang]

Ia not too worried about what is strictly correct, just don't want to give up my husband's name.

[hc4361]

Peter Pedant, are you confusing the divorced and widowed state?

[hc4361]

Dotty, MBE means you can be buries in Westminster Abbey? Are you sure?
The Dean of Westminster must give his permission for all burials and monuments in the Church. Ashes only are permitted. People who have served the Abbey in an official capacity, such as a Dean, a Canon, Organist or Surveyor of the Fabric may be buried here and eminent persons of British nationality from various fields may be considered. The last poet interred was John Masefield in 1967, and Laurence Olivier, actor, was buried here in 1991.

[hc4361]

Debrett's says widows use their husband's initial or full name - ie Mrs John Smith.

The established form of address for a widow is by her late husband's initials, or indeed by his Christian name (ie Mrs D. M. Russell, or Mrs David Russell). The latter style would indicate very clearly that the lady in question is either married or widowed. The use of a woman's own initials or Christian name (Mrs W. M. Russell or Mrs Wendy Russell) would traditionally imply that she is divorced, although of course a woman might choose to use her own name in a professional capacity - in which case 'Ms' would probably be preferable to 'Mrs' in order to avoid the implication of a divorce having taken place.

http://www.debretts.com/forms-of-address/ask-the-address-expert/widows,-widowers-and-divorcees.aspx

[Peter Pedant]

I was taught the same as Dotty

Mrs JOhn SMith became Mrs Jean Smith
and dont refer to them as WIdow Smith in their hearing

I agree Debretts states clearly that I was addressing all widows as divercees but I am not sure if they noticed