An Update On The Mad Mad Neighbour

[Barmaid]

Well I have just had a couple of visits from our PCSO (I was unwilling to go and talk to her a) cos she wouldn't answer the door and b) because i didn't want to be accused of intimidating an old lady.

They have advised her of the measures we have undertaken to prevent our cats going in her garden (a 2 ft prickly screen). However, we can't control the other neighbourhood cats. They have advised her that she cant chuck soil/stones/Sugar over the fence - particularly when it damages my stuff or hits my girls (she denied this, but they candidly said that by her demeanour, they were fairly sure that she knows she is doing this and knows she shouldn't).

All's well? Well not exactly. She is fighting to stay in her own home and considering whether full time care is necessary. She wants to keep her house and garden in tip top shape so no one can force her to move out. I feel such a bitch now. Still at least if I know what her issue is, I might be able to provide some assistance (once I can get over the bleach incident and the "cat Sugar shatters wine glass" incident). I have every sympathy for someone in their 80s (I discovered today she is 83) so now I feel bloody awful.

We have agreed to cut back our trees (they don't actually need cutting back as the police agreed, but it might "help"), other than that I can now sit in my garden without being showered in soil/stones/Sugar/soiled tissue.

No question, just an update.

[Psybbo]

Beware, don't get involved. This might just be a temporary respite and you have enough on your plate xx

[flump1]

I hope it calms down for you B M so you can at least enjoy a few days of summer. Don't feel bad about the old girl, she's old enough to know better.

[wolf63]

Good job that you didn't go around - could have ended badly. Have you lectured the cats about going to visit the old crazy lady?

[tonyav]

She is fighting to stay in her own home and considering whether full time care is necessary.

Oh gawd, still very wrong what she did though, BM.

[craft1948]

Don't feel a bitch BM, my neighbour is 85 and not in the best of health but she can be a crafty old bird.
Still it's always nice if you can get on with the neighbours, the ones at my last house were marvellous.

[ladyalex]

That all sounds pretty harsh for you, Barmaid.
I'm not sure I would try too hard to help or accommodate this lady, even if she is in her eighties...I doubt she'd acknowledge in any way that you were trying to be helpful.
In my experience, ratty old ladies of eighty-odd were ratty young ladies of 20-odd and will continue to be ratty, inconsiderate etc etc until the day they croak.
In the end you have to be yourself, though and do what you think is right. As to your neighbour, my guess is that there will be absolutely no pleasing her.
Hope the showers stop or at least slacken off.

[humbersloop]

It's a bit sad BM but don't beat yourself up, you really weren't to know.I

If you have a better relationship - or at least one without flying detritus - something good's come out of it.

[wolf63]

How is Bleach Boy? Were there any problems?

[gness]

Oi!!! Pack it in with feeling bad. No-one does what she did with any good reason and it's not how she should be behaving if she wants to stay in her own home. Being old is no excuse for bad behaviour...but you're nice so I know you will want to help her...just take care. The last old neighbour I tried to help when she broke her arm thanked me by knocking seven bells out of my front door with her good arm and a walking stick. x

[Connemmara]

Barmaid (I think last year) on TV (documentary) an old lady in her 80s received an ASBO - there were mediators involved between her and her neighbours - when the interviewer interviewed her after the mediation she unreservedly told him no she will keep on dishing out the s t. Definitely don't feel a bitch. Some old people are a law onto themselves. Con

[Barmaid]

Thanks all. Perhaps you are all completely correct and I should stop being such a sop. I have in mind the fact that my grandparents are 88 and 87 (although they would never behave like that) and so I probably feel ever so slightly protective.

You're right, she can't chuck stuff which hits people, however old she might be.

[snags]

BM you big softy (get a couple more cats) ;-p

[daffy654]

You have my sympathy barmaid. I am so fed up with my horrible neighbours that we are looking for somewhere else to live. Neighbour disputes can be very stressful!

[Connemmara]

Daffy they can - but I appreciate where I live. Thank God.

[Barmaid]

Wolf, sorry I missed you. No, there were no ramifications from the bleach incident (I can't prove it was her, but that is my strong suspicion). The only ramification is that it took my scratches a few days to heal! But Fatboy recovered well from being dunked in a bucket of cold water to wash it off him.

(If you've never dunked a cat in a bucket, you haven't lived!!!!!)

[Peter Pedant]

Kiss kiss B M

go and expectorate over her and she might expire from the awful cold you have.

? say you're a music teacher and offer to buy her a ticket to Bordeau ?
she is probably too old to fall for that

anyway welcome back
You still feel guilty because she's 85 ? Ah carm arn, open a decent bottle and you will soon feel different.

Keep yourself busy ? well there's always Desktop.....

[B00]

" I have every sympathy for someone in their 80s (I discovered today she is 83) so now I feel bloody awful."

I wouldn't- feel awful that is.

Advancing age doesn't mean you can be a bitch towards your neighbours. If anyone threw bleach over my pet id make their life as miserable as possible.

[wolf63]

Sometimes you hear some old dearie moaning about all their evil family abandoning them and that nobody cares.

I knew such a woman - when I was giving her benefit related help she lunged at me with his walking stick and called me a f**k*ng fat cow. I am not surprised that her family disowned her.

Some old people are just plain evil - same as some young people are evil.

[whiskeryron]

Hey Barmaid, don't fret yourself over the old batty she knows full well what she is doing. I am 88 & wouldn't dream of doing any of the things she has been doing, I always try to be a good neighbour & indeed go out of my way to be as pleasant as possible to everyone I meet. Do not let age alter your general good nature.

WR.

[DTCwordfan]

Peter, that last remark was uncalled for and in fact it was quite snotty.