Separation

[shaz-rla]

Going through a really difficult separation from my husband at the moment and the kids are really upset about it - I am trying to be open and honest with them and wondered if anyone knew of any books/leaflets that I could read and share with them, the oldest child is 8, another is 6 and the little one nearly 5.

[nfn]

sorry to hear about this shaz! Hope you can keep yourself as good as possible through this.

I don't know of any books etc but I do know that most infant and junior schools will have suggestions. Please make sure you tell your kids' teacher about what's going on at home, just in case it helps them cope at school. I attended a 'keeping up with the children' thing a couple of years ago where they taught us how our children are taught now and one of the things covered was books that help with problems like yours at home. I wish I'd kept more literature or listened better, but I think maybe the school is the best place to start - either a class teacher or headteacher should be able to help. If they can't please let me know either here of CB and I'll do my best to find out for you.

Take care, I'm only an hour away!!!!!!

[curiosity]

Hi, things will get better, even though it may not seem like it now. Search google for youngminds website, they have lots of free leaflet downloads for kids or parents in situations causing emotional worry or pain, if they haven't got anything suitable (they might be too old for your kids or too illness driven) ring your local Outpatient CAMHS (Child & Adolescent Mental Health Service) and ask them if they have any recommended books (there are loads of story books that get the issues across without it being "in your face") that you could either borrow, or buy from the likes of Waterstones. Don't accept it if the receptionist says no, ask to speak to the Primary Care Link Worker. Good Luck.

[curiosity]

Just remebered, your local Sure Start will be an excellent resource for this info also.

[The Ponderer]

Sorry I may seem a little old fashioned but I don't think handing/reading them leaflets at a time like this is really what they need. What they need is their mum(and dad if poss) to explain why they are in the situation. Obviously I don't know the reasons behind the split but if possible you need to reassure them that nothing much is going to change other than their dad living somewhere else, you'll find they will probably cope with the split better than yourself and your partner as they are still young enough to adapt.

[phae]

\Yes, there are books... i'v seen them at the library. I remember one was called 'I love my dad' and was a bout a bear that cant live with his daddy anymore, but that daddy loves him very much etc. There are a few other similar as well. I find that they are usually laid out in the library, so you dont have to go looking them up.

[shaz-rla]

Thanks for all the advice I will take note.

nfn - hello, I did the Keeping up with the Children course - but they missed that bit out of ours or maybe I wasnt paying full attention. I am really unhappy and want to thank you for your very kind thoughts - you never know we may meet up sometime.

[nfn]

shaz, go to http://groups.msn.com/TIGERFEET/_homepage.msnw?&pps= k
if you fancy a chat. apply and you will be allowed in. we can exchange msn details there. good luck babe xxx

[shaz-rla]

Cant access that web page nfn ! I will stick a message on cb in a couple of days if I havent heard back anything on this thread from you hon. xx

[separation]

Sorry you are going through a difficult time.

I saw this book on Amazon for �4 and it has got great feedback.

The book is called It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce
Vicki Lansky, Jane Prince (Illustrator)

ISBN 0916773477

[shaz-rla]

Thanks separation for this - I will definately go and buy it.