husband might be bankrupt but owes me money

[beachhutuser]

Just found out husband has horrendous personal debt which he has kept secret from me. I have recently lent him �50,000 which I was expecting to be repaid soon. This has put great strain on the marriage and our future together is unsure. We jointly own a house. I am afraid someone will bankrupt him for his share of the equity in the house. Is there any way I can get my money from him before than happens, eg a charge on the propery, transfer of equity - any way at all??? An alternative to bankrupcy would be an IVA but would I be seen as a creditor as I am his wife?

[beachhutuser]

Perhaps I should have made it clear that I have had to bail him out of debts he kept secret from me in the past - debts incurred on nothing to do with our life together. and the �50,000 was a critical illness payment for cancer I have been diagnosed with. He told me he needed it to resolve a short term business cashflow problem. But I agree not a fantastic relationship when your husband keeps secrets from you..

[beachhutuser]

do feel you are judging very unfairly.. bet your wife wouldn't be keen to give you her illness payment if you refused to tell her what you intended to do with it, she had earned her own money for the past 20 years and was now unable to work - and you were notoriously bad at managing money..

[trulli]

I'm afraid I don't have any answers for you but this site may be able to help you more:

http://www.debtquestions.co.uk/debt_forum/

[beachhutuser]

Thank you very much Trulli.

[lady_p_gold]

Well .... the way I see it is this. Sounds like this is a case of a leopard not changing its spots. However you have chosen this leopard and stuck with him. Do you want to continue with all this worry .. especially as your health is now an issue. I think it is the time for decisions, you do not want to have bitterness and resentment flowing through you at this time. What did he want the loan for ?? These seem to be big sums what is he doing with it all .. has he got a gambling problem or something ? Anyway, you can either start divorce proceedings and make it snappy and then I think going bankrupt might seem like an effort to dodge his debts, or decide that you are a partnership and that his debts are your debts. As an outsider all I can say is that he does not sound very loving, and if you have to face something difficult sometimes it is worse to have someone like that around than nobody at all ......

[lady_p_gold]

Of course unfortunately if you get divorced his debts will be counted as a debit on his side ... but at least if you come out with something, or the house, you can start again and hopefully beat your cancer and go forward.

[beachhutuser]

Hi - thank you both for your replies.

The debt happened because he is a sole trader and when business was not going well he used credit cards and loans to keep it going, when he needed cashflow etc, so the debt has become personal debt. As income was good he was always able to get credit and overdraft. Since new year business has not been good and he is no longer able to juggle payments.

You are right it is time for decisions. We have been married 35 years, he is 65 and not a bad man - just a very silly one.