Contact Order

[Elsie13]

My ex-husband and I are heading for the courts regarding contact - this has never been my wish but since my ex husband met his current girlfriend things have gone from an excellent understanding between us to a complete mess. My ex husband is getting his legal bills paid for and is sending me solicitors letters left right and centre demanding various different contact arrangements. I have always strongly encouraged a regular contact arangement and am very upset it has come to this. One of the problems is that my ex wants our daughter to stay over on weekends with him but our daughter doesnt want to - she does want to occassionally but not on a regular basis. I have suggested contact every week for the full day on a sat or sunday but this isnt good enough. It has also caused so many problems that at the moment I have stopped contact altogether (he is ignoring issues relating to our daughters health!) My daughter hasnt slept regularly at her fathers for years and now he has two sons (his girlsfriends) and only has two bedrooms (very small) in his house I dont think it is suitable anyway for a 7 year old girl to share with boys of 6 and 4! He reckons one of the boys wont be there the night she stays but i dont believe that. I just wondered what people think the outcome may be in a court - i have always maintained a very flexible and considerate arrangement with my ex in the past but now we have reached meltdown as far as communication goes.I know his girlfriend dictates what he should and shouldnt do as he has admitted this in the past. Our daughter is finding it all very difficult as it is such a huge change to how it has always been. Any advice?? (I think we are going to be attending mediation but as my ex refuses to compromise at all i'm not sure what use this will be!?)

[Stu Dent]

Are you in Scotland Elsie?

[Elsie13]

No, England

[Stu Dent]

Sorry Elsie, hopefully someone else can help.

[kittywoo]

i have exactly the same problem with my ex. he thinks he knows it all but stick to your guns. unfortunatly your little girl is still abit young in the eyes of the law to have a say. i would see a solicitor asap if they only have a two bedroom house the boys should stay in the same room when your daughter visits. i would attempt to gain full parental rights perhaps not full custody its a bit different it allows you to have more control of the situation. may i ask what your daughters medical condition is? my daughter has bad exczma and my ex wont apply creams properly. so i took pictures b4 she went for visits and when she returned. she always came back covered. it may seem extreme but if he is not caring for her properly it may be your only option to use this against him in court. if you have always been flexiable and willing to come to an agreement the court will look favourable on you, my ex partner tried to get full custody it was a horriable time and very stressfull but worth it. the judge can tell when you are genuinely concerned and not just beeing vindictive.
ps sorry bout the spelling....

good luck..