Child Support payments

[asilachic]

My ex partner did not name me as the father on my childs birth certificate. We split shortly after his birth, but I continued to keep in contact and pay maintenance, but always by cash, which would be difficult to prove. My ex is claiming benefits and has been for years. The csa continued to ask her to name the father, but because she could claim the benefit and also get the cash I was giving she always said she didn't know who the father was. She is now saying she will contact csa and try to get them to make me pay all the back pay, but I shouldn't have to as I have always supported my child. Can she really do this, as she is the one who originally lied so she could get more money?

[Ethel]

It would be pointless her doing this - she would not get any more money, it would go to the benefits agencies.

If you were ordered to pay via the CSA her benefits would be reduced accordingly.

And why is suddenly prepared to prove herself to be a liar to the CSA?

[asilachic]

It would be pointless her doing this, as she and my child would be losing out!

She is not happy that I am happy now. Her new partner is a waste of space and doesn't support her. She is jealous of my life and constantly wants more money from me, but my child doesn't want for anything ever, so I can't see why I should keep giving into her threats.

[Ethel]

Hmmmm -do the benefits agencies know she is living with somebody else?

If not, you can threaten her too.

Call her bluff, and try not to worry. In future, think about getting her to sign a receipt for any cash you give her.

[asilachic]

No, they don't know about her partner, so I can call her bluff. I'm trying to arrange a standing order to a bank account, but she probably won't like that.

Thanks for your advice Ethel.

[booboo67]

my children live with their father

i have paid him money every 2 weeks since i left.

he doesnt declare it

but no receipt no money.......simple as that

he wants the money............... i want the receipt

good luck

[Ric.ror]

I think it might also help if you buy anything - clothes etc - to keep a reciept. Also and this is for the future - any school outings to be paid for by cheque. Well done you for contributing to your child. I wish my ex had taken the same attitude. Your child will treat you according when they are older

[asilachic]

Thank you, I will definately keep receipts for everything from now on. I'm always helping out towards school clothes and trips, so I will have to pay by chq in future. I just hate this threat she keeps holding over me, when in fact she is the one cheating the system. She knows the system too well and the CSA would come down on me like a tonne of bricks because I have no evidence that I have supported my child all these years.