Child Minding...........

[robotics]

Posted this in law, but I really need answers before the kids are picked up

I am so made I could scream,

I do not know how I ended up doing this but, for the last couple of months I have been picking up from school my neighbors children...........(not thro choice, get to that bit later) on a Thursday and Friday and they are picked up around 6.30 ish more is than 6.30................

I also work during the day and I was finding this arrangement to difficult so I told there mum, that I could no longer pick them up and also I had booked my children into the after school club..........

The reason I have booked my kids in to after school club because I no longer want to look after the other kids........I here you shout "well tell the parents then"..........They are an Indian family and the mother I find to be very intimidating, to the point when she asks me to do something I do it

anyway tonight when I picked up my kids from after school club, one of the children says we are coming home with you, I knew nothing about it, so I rang the mother to ask what was going on, to be told she thought I would be ok picking them up.

I have tried to tell her that I do not want to be held responsible for her kids, what if something was to happen to them

anyway sorry for the ramble

Is there any laws about looking after other children, should I be CRB checked.........any information that I could use............I have not even got liability insurance

[hau kola]

Its illegal to look after somebody elses kids unless you are a registered childminder or are related to them.Tell her that.

[robotics]

I thought it was , thank you, looking for some info on the net, and I will speak with the local council on Monday

[dinsdale]

here is something i found

http://www.ncma.org.uk/download/bs3.pdf

[unrulyjulie]

it might be best if you just tell her that its too much for you. If you go in armed with info about the laws she might be less receptive than if you just explain to her that its too much for you to take on on a permenant basis. Slip it in that you will help out now and again and maybe suggest that she gets herself a "proper" childminder because you think it might be breaking the law and also throw in the insurance issues.

Sorry robotics but this woman is taking the proverbial wee out of you. Her kids, her problem. I know it isnt nice saying no but they are her kids, not yours. Its hard enough getting our own childcare sorted out.
Just be diplomatic, go gently and explain your reasons and im sure you will be fine.
Good luck with whatever route you decide to take.

[robotics]

omg thank you so much


if you were not a pixel on the screen, I would kiss you

[robotics]

Unruly, I have tried so many times to tell her, I have even told her that If one of her kids were god forbid killed in my house, I could not live with the guilt............

I cannot believe tonight tho when I went to pick my kids up, that I ended up still bringing the kids home, lol that was 12quid wasted

I will write a letter telling her that I cannot and will not be looking after her kids, and I will enclosed the leaflet

and I will make it clear that if it happens again next week, I shall leave the kids in the after school club

[unrulyjulie]

Why not try explaining your dilemma to the people at the after school club? you dont HAVE to take these children.,They are NOT your responsibility! Just collect yours and walk away, or take yours out and dont go to pick them up. If the after school club knows, they will be ok and they will phone her if no one comes for them.

Ya know what, makes me so cross that someone like this woman has the nerve to abuse your kindness to this extent! So if she falls out with you, well then i'd say , good riddance to her to be honest. Cheeky cow!

[robotics]

lol Julie...........

They did actually suggest that I left the kids there, but I was its not the kids fault

I know they are talking the wee out of me...........but this woman really scares me................I know me scared of someone

I will be stronger I have to be for my own kids sake, and as from next week after reading that article, there is now way I am breaking the law for anyone

[robotics]

Again thank you for you reply s

[toby99]

This woman is just manipulating you - She will try and trick you into continuing regardless of what you say so you are going to have to be very straight. She will not buy the 'against the law' and will talk you around. I have met people like her and they are very clever. Does she pay you?

[josie48]

Toughen up robotics,be firm just say NO!

[figure]

It make no sense to me why you should feel so obligated to this woman. Did this woman helped you out in the past causing you to feel so obligated?

Why is it so difficult to tell her you will not be picking up her children again because you no longer have make that run to pick up your kids? Suppose you have to work late, or changed jobs which required you working late hours, what will you do then?

Maybe you should tell here you don't have the necessary insurance coverage, God forbid should you get into an accident, to cover the kids. You will be in trouble with the law amongst others problems that would incur.

Be brave and strong, and just do it. The sooner the better. You should do it this weekend she has ample time to make other arrangements for picking them up on Monday.

[unrulyjulie]

awww robotics, i really want you to toughen up with her. Why does she scare you? Manipulation like this is out of order.
I feel for you i really do.
I wanna tell her for you!!!!!! grrrrrr! In fact, i think id get great pleasure from it.

[robotics]

Toby I am glad you understand my situation, people think I am mad for allowing it to happen, and that the worst bit, she does not pay me, I get given red wine...so sort off

Figure sat here reading back this post, I would probably answered the same as you have.................I really do not know how I have got myself into this situation,

The father has just picked up the kids and I mentioned to him what I have said on here, he told me he would tell his wife to come and speak with me tomorrow................so julie if you live in the north west area.............see you tomorrow, your more than welcome

I think its the way she speaks to me, its very matter of factly

[dinsdale]

sounds to me like you really do have a problem with this person, you need to stand up for your self on this one i think, if not the authorities could be on to you! You need to make this point clear to her, honest she is a lot less to deal with than a cell mate!

[bigmamma]

You ,and me too jules , we could speak to her together !
I am a rather scardycat too when it comes to saying no robotics but can tell this woman is using you wrongly .
Now that you realise you have had these children under your care without the proper legalities you can bombard her with the facts. Good luck honey , you are obviously a really lovely person honey ;-) xxxxx

[Bathsheba]

Hey robotics. I've been reading this thread with interest. What a liberty!! Will you update us on how you sort it out with this obnoxious woman? Btw- whereabouts in the north-west are you?

[smiffy65]

robotics I would not even try to speak to her again, I would just write her a letter give it to her ask her to read it in front of you then ask her if she understands, the letter should consist of, as from the date of this letter i can no longer pick up your children from school or link club,as i have now found out because i do not have insurance or been checked it is illegal what I am doing,we are both breaking the law. also give one to the school and link club to let them know you have told her etc

[toby99]

Hi - Try and have some answers prepared and remember she will manipulate you. Tell her it is just too tying as a regular commitment, as you may like to go somewhere straight from school or visit other friends etc and it is stopping you doing so. Tell her you have already had to say no to a few invites to friends/family etc. Say it is interferring with the evening routine and your kids are hard to settle afterwards cos they are excited - anything but whatever you do don't let her win or talk you round as you will find it even more difficult to raise the subject again and you will be stuck with the situation. You must be very firm and make sure you get the outcome you want. Tell her you will help out in an emergency, but every time she calls you tell her you can't (have excuses to hand!) and she will eventually find someone else to take advantage of. Good luck and don't be hard on yourself - it is very hard to say no - I have been there, but I have toughened up now! How old are her & your?