Does an alcoholic father have the right to see his child?

[Tups]

I have a close friend who has a 19 month old child whose father is a serious alcoholic and cocaine-user. She went out with the father when she was going through a very depressed patch; she mixed anti depressants with alcohol and reached a very low ebb. She went out with him because she didn't think she was worth anything better. She became pregnant and changed almost overnight. She stopped drinking and smoking and got her life together, securing a job and finding somewhere nice to live. Her boyfriend - 12 years older than her - said he would stand by her and stop drinking. However, to cut a very long and messy story short, he continued to drink and got involved in drugs. He started bringing undesirables back to the house, even after the baby was born. He left her to cope alone with the baby, coming in drunk - and worse - in the early hours. Once, she had to call his mum because he was trying to break in and get to the baby. She then asked him to leave. She then gave him many chances to make amends but he always let her down.
After months of torment and threats on his part, she went to a solicitor, who advised her not to let him see his child as it would do a lot of harm if the baby grew up, knowing the father to be unreliable. Question: Is it right to keep them apart and if so, what does she tell the child?

[lil75]

Personally I wouldnt want someone like that around my young child, when intoxicated he is uncapable of looking after a child responsibly, and by the sounds of it, hes like it a lot.

I would only let him see the child on supervised visits. Dont know really what I would say to the child, but I do know that honesty is the best policy

[ILNY]

He sounds like he could be violent at any tme, and with drugs and alcahol in his system, you do not know what he can or will or could do.

I would, (if nessessery) get a restraining order on him (depending on the circumstances) but i would not allow him near the child full stop!

She should go and get legal advice though.

[haysi06]

I believe that it is completely right to keep the child away from him until he is clean and sober. There is help out there for the mother and she needs to take it. The father needs to get himself sorted so that he can appreciate what he has.

[boogieboogie]

I have to disagree, he's the father and therefore should see his child. I saw a solicitor recently for advice on the law and what she told me was wrong so I certainly wouldn't take the advice from one. Who is she to judge this person she has never met. Who is she to decide a child never sees it's father and deny a father a child, because they are a qualified solicitor they can dictate to people..
How angry would your friend be if she was still on the tablets and booze and her fella stopped her from seeing her child, wouldn't she be angry, threatening etc...
He has to see his child and I don't think a court of law would stop him.
Some routine arrangement like Sunday access and see how it goes the review in time.

[B00]

Agree with boogieboogie on this one.

Regardless of what he's like she chose to have a child with this man and as such he has a right to see the baby, equally the child has a right to be with their father. However I'd personally make sure they are visits where i'd be there all the time and until he straightened himself out I wouldn't leave the child alone with him for even 10 minutes.

[Tups]

Thanks for the replies. She did suggest he had supervised access and he refused, saying he couldn't be bothered with that 'sh*t'. She used to take the child up to his parents' house, where he lives, for a couple of hours every Sunday but he kept cancelling the visit at the last minute because he was hung over! She's afraid that he would continue to do this when the child is old enough to feel disappointed and rejected. She really wants the father to sort himself out and be there as a daddy but the father's family wouldn't want her to be there in their house during visits, nor would she want to be, and she's also afraid he will take the child out to the pub or take her in his car (he's just got his licence back after a 5 year ban!) Things are so stressful; she really wants whatever is best for her daughter but has no idea what that is. I wonder if there's anyone here in a similar position - or even in the father's position??