Access to child. Advice needed.

[sam100]

Hi

I could do with some advice. My friend is currently going through a nasty seperation from his partner (not marrried). They split three months ago after she left him for another person. She has since moved into a new place with her new boyfriend taking their 3 year old daughter with her.
She suffers from bi-polar which she refuses to take medication for. She has turned into the monster from hell and has blocked my friend from seeing his child.

He got legal aid and took it to court where they spent time battling it out. He has now been granted visitation for an hour a fortnight at her parents home. However, there have been problems with this so far and he has not actually seen the child yet or spoken to her.

The ex has also made some claims about his mental state after he got depressed when she left him. He also spent a spell in care as a child (a long time ago) and she is using all this against him.
He has now been told that he has to go through an investigation which he has to pay for which will take quite some time to carry out.

Does this seem accurate? What advice can i give him? Is there anything else he could be doing?
And advice would be great just so i can support him.

And yes he is paying maintenance.

Thanks in advance.

[tamborine]

Your friend should back off and let the dust settle. He should pay for his child thru a third-party to pass on (his relations or hers) who could check on the child's well-being. Ask if he can phone the child etc. In time, the mother will have more trust in him. If the mother has more children, include them in gifts so none feel neglected.

Slanging matches between parents gets nowhere and upsets the children.

[pink-kittens]

I wouldnt advocate backing off at all - it could go on for years and in the meantime there will be no paper trail to back the father telling his child he tried to and did everything he could see her. I would imagine maintenance is being paid direct to the CSA or by DD? No need to see the mother to hand over monies
If court ordered visitation is not being adhered to, go back to court to have it enforced
It stikes me as exceedingly unfair that mothers (in the loosest term here) can do this and get away with it
Father's should not have to fight for their rights, but sometimes they must - any resident parent who fails to upkeep contact with the other parent fails at being a good parent (unless there are extrene circumstances)
I wish your friend every luck in the world

[sam100]

Thanks for your replies.

Maintenance is bein paid by CSA. The mother is very difficult and her family are unfortunately not helping the situation. My friends a pretty genuine guy who can be a bit of a mugg at times. I just dont understand how warped the whole legal system is with regards to fathers. Seems an unfair deal.

[758570]

unless you get a good family lawyer you are going nowhere, i won joint residency of my 3 sons,even when she made allegations in court of physical abuse against my children and her,which was all lies and she did not involve the police. The big problem you will having coming your way, IS WHEN SHE MAKES FALSE ALLEGATIONS TO THE POLICE!!! you will have no chance to see the daughter, stay away from her and do everything threw a 3rd party.CAFCASS who support the courts are more infavour of joint parenting unless they have PROOF against the father.Every woman who leaves a man and has children is a fool if she does not involve the police with false claims,they get the upper hand straight away,
you can see my link under criminal law

GOOD LUCK