Describing Political Parties

[whiskeryron]

I can vaguely remember a series of quotes describing political parties which roughly goes as follows

A Tory is a person who-----
A Liberal is a person who-----
A Socialist is a person who----
A Communist is a person who----

Can anyone remember the actual wording ?

[whiskeryron]

Someone has suggested to me the following may be part of what I am looking for:-
A Conservative is someone with something that they want to keep for themselves.
A Socialist is someone with nothing & they want to share it.

[sophie_1003]

http://www.sjgames.co...uminati/politics.html

probably not what you're looking for but still very funny!

[sophie_1003]

Some worlwide situations explaied through cows--
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it world-wide

A GERMAN CORPORATION:You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

[sophie_1003]

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows. Business seems pretty good, the sun is shining the surf is up. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:You have two cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb the hell out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a democracy

WELSH CORPORATION:You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

[whiskeryron]

sophie, brill thanks ( but one correction) 'A british corporation has one mad cow they stop all milking & call it maggie thatcher'