how the victim became the offender...

[sleepyhead1991]

half a year ago, my boyfriend was attacked by a boy as he was leaving a kebab shop. he turned around and was headbutted, following in him being beaten up, he received a lot of bruising to the face. he did not press charges.

two weeks ago, the attackers mother confronted my boyfriend while he was out on a saturday night. she verbally abused him and they began to argue as he was tellign her to leave him alone. the son (the previous attacker) then came out of nowhere and started punching him again, his mother then went on to hold my boyfriend back as the boy continued to beat him. my boyfriend fell to the floor, where the mother scratched his face and attempted to gauge his eye out, whilst the boy continued to punch him.

following this, my boyfriend returned home and told me what happened. i got so upset by it that i went to confront this boy. i walked up to him and shouted at him asking why he had done this to my boyfriend. and then i hit him once. he stood up, by this time i had pulled back and he smacked me full on in the face, breaking my nose, giving my a black eye and nerve damage in my teeth. him and his friends fled the scene.

i explained the situation to the police and because i had hit him first and his friends backed him up (aren't they considered biased wintesses?) and said that he was acting in self defence (which i know he wasnt) and didnt know i was a girl (which he most definitely did because i shouted at him and he had time to look at me) i was given a caution and he was treated as the victim! (receiving no injuries whatsoever)

i just want to know where i stand? this cant be right? please help.

[jackthehat]

This bit is the important part.....<< because i had hit him first >>.

If you hadn't hit him the situation wouldn't have arisen.

[bednobs]

if you recieved a caution it means you accepted guilt, that's where you stand. Plus you did hit him.
what is happening with the case with your b/f's attack?

[craft1948]

So you confront someone who punched your boyfriend...............and are surprised when you get punched?

[sleepyhead1991]

my boyfriends attempting to claim but again is lacking witnesses... he is depending on cctv but it was probably too dark. my friends also overheard the mother boating about gauging his eye out. could this be used?

[Old_Geezer]

IMO

It may seem unfair in the larger picture, but put yourself in the shoes of those trying to keep order. Your confrontation was a new incident in which you gave the first blow. The law isn't keen on folk taking the law into their own hands, it means they lose all control, so you are the perpetrator in that incident, the guy you had a grievance with and who defended himself (or retaliated maybe) is the victim for this incident. You got let off with a caution. The police couldn't really do much more.

You should let that go and concentrate on the earlier incidents where your 'opponents' seem to be the ones in the wrong, and let the law take its course.

[sleepyhead1991]

if i could prove that he saw me and i had stepped back. he would have been done for GBH

[sleepyhead1991]

i guess you're right. we are doing our best to pursue the earlier incident

[Old_Geezer]

"my friends also overheard the mother boating about gauging his eye out. could this be used?"

No expert but maybe. I think the value of such testimony may be limited since your friends are hardly unbiased, and just because someone boasts of something doesn't automatically mean it is so. You need independent witnesses I think.

[SkellieMonster]

Sleephead - you made three mistakes!

1 You confronted the little sh... er darling. You should NOT have done so!

2 You hit him first. You should not have done so!

3 You did it in front of witnesses. You should not have done so!

If I may suggest, if you need to confront the attacker, make sure he's alone! After all, he's a coward, mummy has to help him! And if you do hit him, hoof him in the taters first!

Not that I wish to encourage any untoward behaviour of course!

I hope you get this sorted out, and the bully gets what he so richly deserves!

[sleepyhead1991]

hmm...i thought because his friends (witnesses) seemed valid, then ours would be too. its quite a small town, so i have a feeling that there aren't going to be many independent witnesses in this case. non that have stepped forward or that we know of...

[sleepyhead1991]

thank you skellymonster, that means a lot. i would like to believe in karma, so i'm hoping there will be some sort of justice... if not. i dont know what the point is

[Old_Geezer]

I'm only expressing an opinion but I suspect his friends had limited value in their testimony too. But it looks to me that you agreed to what happened which made it all rather moot.

[sleepyhead1991]

its funny, because the policeman applauded me for telling the truth... i told the truth and got cautioned, the boy told lies and got nothing. oh well. i guess i was in the wrong (in the eyes of the law).