He Will Not Leave Me Alone !

[Bonkers123]

My ex was convicted of breaching a non molest order with violence .He received a suspended sentence of 18 months, a fine, and a restraining order was put in place .I had a non molest order also which expired in September ...as it has expired he is now using MY local pub on a daily basis,It is next to my house ! I have asked my solicitor to get another non molest order to keep him away from the area as the previous one required him to do this .I feel like a prisoner in my own home .This morning i received a letter from a county court stating i must pay him back 8,000 in arrears immediately ! I am gobsmacked ,i never had a warning ,a letter to dispute this and yet i have two weeks to pay this back ! I owe him nothing at all ,he is simply doing all he can for revenge .I am beside myself with worry,he is still controlling the situation despite being found guilty,i am a prisoner in my home,and i now feel he is once again harassing and stalking me ,please please any advice ,i am about to lose the plot !Thank you so much

[BlackadderV]

Move house.

[scorpiojo]

What is the £8,000 supposed to be for?

[Bonkers123]

He says arrears? He lived here for 3 years,i lost my job through him and he was esctatic as it meant he could have me all to himself and keep an eye on me ,that is the truth .The rent fell behind and he asked if he paid it would i put him on the tenancy !My mum had offered to pay it but he refused and said it was a gift for letting him go on my tenancy .That was for 3,000 .The rest i have no idea ,but my kids were paying him the rent and he simply pocketed the 5oo a month and we never new and fell behind again .This time though he had gone as he had beaten me one to many times .

[mccfluff]

how has he proved you owe him £8k? you need to contact your solicitor again

[Bonkers123]

I rang the court as soon as i received the judgement .they said that as i had not replied i had two weeks to pay !I told them i had not received any letter or form to reply to other then this .I never received a thing .

[chelle7272]

Have you ever accessed any support service due to the abusive relationship? They can help you sort through matters like this, check for a local service.

[Bonkers123]

I have counselling weekly .I have another trial in 3 weeks as he appealing his conviction .He is so manipulating it is scary ! My kids see him all the time again and he just stares at them .This cannot be right .Why won't he leave us alone !

[scorpiojo]

Did you become joint tenants? If so, take legal advice about why you are both not equally responsible for the arrears. Can you ask the Court for what proof he provided for you (allegedly) failing to pay him? Did you not receive any communication previously from the Court prior to the judgement being made? Please take legal advice or at least contact a CAB.

[Bonkers123]

I have tried to get in touch with the police as i feel that this intimidation is breaching the restraining order surely ? I a a nervous wreck ,i never ever dreamed that this is how my life would turn out .I had a fantastic job with the ambulance service,i was confident,carefree and loved life ! Now ,thanks to years of abuse ,i am reduced to nothing ...

[Retrochic]

Bonkers you put up with years of abuse and now you can put it all behind you if you really want to. If you have no money the courts can't make you pay £8000 but you must talk to someone. As for your abusive ex partner, can you move house? I suggest moving starting a fresh life, retrain to get back into ambulance work, and move on. This person can only continue to ruin your life if you allow him to.

[Bonkers123]

The court simply said arrears ? As this is the first time i have heard of this claim ,and as i did not reply to the first letter disputing his claim,i must now pay .But i never received any other notification ? I tried to explain this to the court but they could not help .I owe him the money apparently for the rent he paid whilst here .But we all paid the rent .This is his revenge .I understand he may well be angry ,but he abused me ,beat me with a bat,sent my children explicit videos and all he got was 18 months suspended and a restraining order which states no contact whatsoever .!

[Peter Pedant]

Calm down !

First things first - as you have already had a non molest order, you will know or not whether you have to pay a lawyer or not. I think the answer is no - as you are the victim you get the costs paid for you ( I've been told: I havent been molested ). SO you should be able to go along to the original solicitor and get another one

£8000 arrears - this is a default judgement. Since you did not reply, judgement was entered against you. You go along to the court pay a fee and the judgement is set aside - but you have to get your skates on !

Then write out a defence

No point in telling US you dont owe him a penny, you need to tell a court, and in a defence

and good luck - if any of this seems unclear go to a CAB - citizens advice bureau. This sort of thing happens every day in a metropolis so they will be able to advise.

[mccfluff]

are you in a position to be able to get legal advice? if so you need it asap.

[Barmaid]

In terms of the arrears, it sounds to me as if he has obtained Judgement in Default against you because you did not respond. You need to have this Judgement set aside as a first step. I suggest you see a solicitor or the CAB. You have to act FAST because speed is of the essence in having a JiD set aside.

[Peter Pedant]

thx Barmaid
clear advice as ever...

[Barmaid]

PP got there first. Must type faster.

[Bonkers123]

I am calming down now ,thank you !Deep breaths .Thank you again , i will do all i can with your advice .Thanks guys .Dramatic i know ,sorry !

[scorpiojo]

Contact the police. Get legal advice. Would you be prepared to move? You're not reduced to nothing, please don't think that.

http://www.refuge.org.uk

[Bonkers123]

I had the opportunity to move ,but as he lived 30 miles away now and i had the non molest in place ,i thought i was safe .I am just a nervous wreck ,he just will not let things be .I appreciate your help and advice .Thank you so much all .