Why do you never find an elephant hiding in a tree?
Because they're really, really good at it.
Wife phones her mother; "He's being so unreasonable, i'm coming to stay with you for a while."
Mother; "No, he should pay for his behaviour. I'm coming to stay with you."
Why has my washing machine stopped pumping out water? And, more importantly, where's my daughter's hamster?
I should have been more suspicious when my Chinese neighbour offered to "wok my dog" for me:-(