Oh my god im in court tomorrow!!!

[pinkbunny]

The long awaited court case starts tomorrow and I am absolutely terrified! My friends have been doing their best to keep my mind off of things but I just cant believe its here already! I dont know if I can face being in the same room as him even though I wont be seeing him!!! I just want to run away and hide!!!!

[pinkbunny]

Thanks hippyhoppy everyone on here has been fantastic with their words of support I thought about all the words of support and advice this morning whilst a huge legal battle broke out before I was brought in!
THANK YOU EVERYONE XXXXXXXX MMMWWWAAAAHH x x x x

[SHELLP]

Well done pinkbunny you have been so strong and I think you did the right thing in not putting your daughter on the stand I am terrified so dont know how she would have coped. I have emailed you.

Cheers Sara want mine over with now mines only been put off once yet pinks was cancelled 4 times before she actually got there.

[pinktwink]

well done pink you have done yourself and your daughter proud i hooe today is the start of the best days of you life. Be sure to treat yourself, you are an inspiration

[Ethel]

Very well done - and you did absolutely the right thing re your daughter.

:)

[sanden]

So pleased for you Pinkbunny, you have waited so long, so I am pleased your bit is done. You did the right thing. Best wishes. xx

[CAJ1]

Well done pinkbunny! I know how hard it must have been for you to stand up in court and be cross-examined, it sounds like you did a fantastic job though and you should be very proud of yourself. You were right not to put your daughter through that.

Now today is the first day of your brand new life, go and live it to the full and try to forget about the past! x

[CAJ1]

I was waiting for you to comment Raggy. Maybe "so many woman on here" talk about it so much because 1 in 4 women are affected by domestic violence at some point in their lives.

[CAJ1]

I don't know about everyone else and how they end up with these a**holes but I was fostered and was so desperate for someone to love me that when I went with my ex I thought finally someone wanted me. He was nice at the start but then started manipulating me and hitting me. He took my money from me, he threatened me with a knife on 2 occassions, he threatened me with a hammer, he wouldn't let me out to see my friends, he checked my phone for messages and calls, he told me I had no one else in the world except him and therefore was better off with him than by myself and alone. He knew about my past of being fostered and threatened to tell people things I wouldn't have wanted them to know. Domestic violence is not always about physical abuse, it is also about mental/emotional and financial abuse. When someone brainwashes you by telling you something again and again and you are too ashamed to tell anyone about your bruises and you have no money you have no choice other than to stay with them until you build up the courage to leave. I had to phone the police when I finally did tell him I was going, I wanted to go but couldn't build up the courage for years as I was so frightened of what his reaction would be.

I would like to believe that no one would lie about being in such a bad situation Raggy, so please don't say things that could be hurtful to people that have been in this situation.

[Bbbananas]

"Brainless monkeys" don't always seem so at the start Roman. I certainly haven't lied about my situation; in fact I have rather played it down, but when someone comes on here for support, we that have been through it are only pleased to give it.

Domestic violence has for too long been an issue that was hidden or swept under the carpet. It happens far too frequently - one in 3 women at some point during their lives will be a victim in one way or another of such violence. I have been a victim myself, have researched it throughly as part of my job & have spoken publically about it also. It should never be treated lightly & those who lie about it are very few & far between

Well done pinkbunny - you have done the right thing by your daughter & yourself. Whatever the verdict - the most important thing now is for you to move on. You will never forget, but you have learned from it and you will now be a stronger person because of it. xx

[CAJ1]

Well, I guess no one knows anyones situation and how they got there. I know you're not trying to be hurtful but it annoys me when you comment because it sounds like you don't believe it! (Although you are entitled to your opinion). Can you understand now that I have explained my situation how I got there and why it was so hard to leave?

[Bbbananas]

I am not going to go into any explanation as to how I came to be in that situation, but I agree with CAJ1 all the way. It is hard to leave when your options are limited and people stay of all sorts of reasons.
My 'assailant' (husband) was not at all brainless (in the sense of 'thick') - quite the opposite. Indeed he was very clever. Very clever indeed in lots of ways.

It is insulting when women find the courage to speak up and they are (sometimes) met with disbelief.

[CAJ1]

I understand that some women are in that position because they put themselves there irresponsibly but there is no way that anyone be it a man or woman deserves to be abused.

With regards to the hero bit (not sure if you are referring to this post) I think it is more about being courageous and proud that you stood up to the person and made a start at getting your life back rather than being the hero. I remember feeling so scared that my knees buckled in court and I turned away and ran but went back and stood there to be cross-examined as though I was the criminal while my ex sat accross the room staring me out. It was a tremendous feeling afterwards to know I had been defiant and proved to him I could go against him and I think that is what pinkbunny went through and people on here have congratulated her for being brave and doing it.

[Bbbananas]

women are "irresponsible for getting involved with them in the first place"????

Do you think we would, if we knew they were like that from the start? My man was charming, intelligent, hardworking, caring(!) and no way on earth would I ever have expected things to have turned out the way they did.

[SazzyC0]

I have had to do the same thing. It was scary at first, just be strong and get him punished for what he did. My ex is since out of prison and i have bumped into him a couple of times, and that always brings it back but he will not even come near me, probably through fear of going back to prison. I just tried not to think about it and just went and did it, you will be fine.

[Bbbananas]

well yes, I will agree there are some obvious candidates. Personally I wouldn't touch one of those with a bargepole. But they do say you never really know a person until you live with them - my husband was great to live with... at the start.

Those that go in with their eyes open into a relationship that is obviously destined for trouble & strife, well maybe that does take a bit more comprehending. Some people are just crying out for love & attention though; and sadly they will take a chance on a bad 'un for any titbits that are thrown their way. That is sad, not bad. :-(